Post # 1
So here is a recap of what is happening to me for those who have not read my previous posts:
I am “unofficially engaged” because we are waiting after the holidays to design my e-ring (holidays are when jewelers hike their prices). We are members of “you just know we are meant for each other” club and there is no doubt we are getting married.
We discussed in length and agreed on possible venues, church, flowers and possible dates. We both want a small wedding (just immediate family – about 30 people) We both agreed that summer is the best season to have our wedding. I originally suggested July 2013 and he agreed is the best month to get married due to family schedules.
Last weekend, “S” told me that he wish we get married sooner than July 2013. His father has Alzheimer’s and even though he is taking medicine to slow down the disease, his mom is getting worried that his mind will get worse in the following years. “S” wants his father to be able to attend the wedding and remember.
“S” wants to have a wedding in August 2012. He told me that there is no reason to have a long engagement. He knows I am the love of his life. I am 35 years old and he is 41 years old. We have the same core values, we know what we want in life and our outlook in life is the same. We both know who we are as individuals and as a couple and we know that we are meant for each other.
I am still on the fence about having the wedding sooner rather than later, not because I am unsure about us but because I am extremely detailed oriented and even though it is going to be a small wedding, I want things to be absolutely perfect and it takes time to prepare everything to the miniscule detail.
Any advice is appreciated
Post # 3
I think you should go for it! You still have 10 months to get everything together. Ask for help!
Post # 4
Even if you don’t get “officially” engaged till after holidays I think 7 months is more than enough time to plan a small wedding.
I think your BF’s reasons are very valid and if I were you I would absolutely agree before his father’s condition worsens.
Post # 5
@KS240030: Definitely have a shorter engagement 🙂 You still have time and you’re having such an intimate wedding, why not do it sooner? Espcially concerning your future Father-In-Law.
Post # 6
August is plenty of time to plan. 🙂
Post # 7
I’m a June 1, 2012 bride and didnt start planning until this month. I am detail oriented too, and have been driving myself crazy. However, you have enough time. I know for me it doesnt seem like enough time, but when I think of all the months I have yet to go, I know I will be alright. 10 months is a long time. You can do it!!
Post # 8
you can start planning now and I agree 10 months is defintitely enough time to plan the wedding. If you are already on weddingbee, you also have a great network to help you plan and make decisions.
Post # 9
- Wedding: April 2012 - St. Philip Catholic Church/Arcadia Brewing Co.
I say go for it! You can avoid the lag time that lots of brides face when the planning stalls out! You could also hire someone to help if you think time crunch will be too much, but I think it would be a great gesture to your soon-to be in-laws to move it up!
Good luck with planning either way!
Post # 10
definitely go for the sooner date- his reason for wanting it sooner is more than valid and if having his dad there mentally is really important to him it should win over a perfectly detailed wedding. besides the fact that you still have 10 months which is a LONG time to plan
Post # 11
You have plenty of time. This is a big reason to move it up and will mean a lot to your FH. I think you should bump it up. Especially since you are having a smaller wedding it will not be quite as crazy to get everything together.
Post # 12
Go for the earlier date! Your FI’s reason for wanting to move up the date are completely valid. Plus, as someone who’s in the last six months of a 16 month engagement, I can tell you, it’s killing me! I just want to be married!
Post # 13
I say go for it. I’m extremely detail-orientated as well and I’m prepared for a short engagement (not engaged yet but the mister has been very vocal about having a short engagement). With being detail-orientated, I know that means you’re probably a fantastic planner so getting all your ducks in a row shouldn’t be an incredibly taxing task!
If you’re comfortable with it, why not start piecing together ideas now to help with the planning process? That’s what the mister and I have done and that alone has helped me be more comfortable with a shorter “window of opportunity” since I know which projects I want to do myself and how long they’ll take. And I agree with the PPs, you have plenty of time before August!
Post # 14
I say go for it as well…being married is about compromise and let this be one of your first compromises…planning a wedding is very possible in a short span of time…we got engaged in June and are getting married in January…so it is possible! Good luck to you!
Post # 15
@KS240030: I am in the opposite boat as you. I’m waiting (engagement before EOY according to SO) and when we first started talking about weddings and whatnot, I told him I’d like to get married this time next year.
Well, his brother has been battling a serious illness for the past year. He went back into the hospital about 3 weeks ago due to complications from a bone marrow transplant. He was on a ventilator for the first part of his stay and on friday they did a trachiotomy. Anyway, long story short, he asked the other day if I would be okay with pushing it back to 2013, so his brother has time to heal and can be in the wedding. Naturally I told him he was crazy for asking (like I was going to say no – I’m not a heartless b*tch!) and of course we could move it back.
But now I’m kinda bummed – I was totally looking forward to having wedding planning as a happy distraction from all of the crap that’s happening around us.