- 3 years ago
Hey, this is a bee going anon. I was once a waiting bee who walked after her boyfriend did not propose after many years of being together. I say this for background because getting married and staying faithfully married are important to my values. I also don’t want to waste time dating the wrong man again, whch is why I am asking for some advice.
I have been seeing a new man for the past several months. So far things are going really well, he is a great guy, has treated me well, and we get along well. I don’t see any red flags. My one concern is that he has been divorced two times already. I have never dated a divorced man before. And while I don’t think divorce is contagious, I would not like divorce to be in my future. I know that he has been written off by women in the past because he has been divorced, but I believe that people can learn from prior experiences and do better in the future. I also really like this guy.
He does not have any children with his exes, so they are not in his life. We have talked about his past marriages, and it seems to me that the reasons that his marriages ended make sense, i.e. he was 18 years old when he got married the first time and they grew apart as they became adults; his second wife cheated on him and left him for the man she cheated on him with. He says that he would be open to getting married again in the future, and even though I’m excited about him we are taking things very slow!
So my questions to you guys are:
- Would you date a man who has been divorced more than once? Why or why not?
- How worried should I be that this man has been divorced more than once? What are the specific aspects of this that you think I should/shouldn’t worry about?
- Even though the reasons he gave me for his past divorces make sense to me, do you guys think that I should try to find more information as time goes on? If so, what would you advise/look for specifically?
- Are there any specific red flags I should look out for due to his relationship history?
- How slow/fast would you recommend taking this relationship?
- What kinds of experiences/things/conversations do you think we should have before we start talking about marriage? Anything beyond the standard ones? Are there any specific pieces of advice due to his past experience with divorce?
- Any other advice and help would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks! I appreciate your time and willingness to share your thoughts and experiences.