Post # 1
I was hoping to get some advice here. I’ve been with my girlfriend now for about 8 months. We’ve been living together for 4 months now. We’ve gone on a couple of multiweek, out of country holidays together. We’ve discussed a future together several times, both of us speak about the future with no doubt that we’ll be together. We’ve discussed how we feel about weddings, kids etc. All that kind of stuff.
One thing I will say is that our relationship has been semi-long-distance since the beginning. I work at a gold mine on a 3 weeks away, 3 weeks home rotation. I live with her while I’m home but then I’m out of town for 3 weeks at a time. So far, this hasn’t caused any issues whatsoever and I’m very grateful to her for being able to put up with my work schedule.
I’m not in a rush to propose to my girlfriend yet but I’m starting to think about it. The thing is that, come September, we’re going to be living in different cites for 8 months. I’m going back to school to do my Masters and that requires me to move to a different city for two semesters. I’m not worried about the distance. We’ll be close enough that we can see each other on weekends and we’re used to being apart. It does; however, concern me when it comes to timing on proposing.
Right now, I’m sort of considering two different options. First. Her birthday is on August 30th which will be a few days before I have to leave for school. My one plan was to buy her a promise ring for her birthday then an engagement ring next summer when we’re living together again. By August, we’ll have been together for about a year.
My second idea was to just wait, see how the first school semester goes and if all is still well (I fully expect it to be) then propose over Christmas break when we’ll have about 3 weeks straight with each other. By Christmas, we’ll have been together for about 16 months.
Post # 3
I would say wait. You’ve only been together 16 months by Christmas. No need to rush. I would say wait at least until next summer.
Post # 4
@cmrocks: I would wait, in part because you haven’t been together for very long (and big changes in lifestyle may alter things) but more importantly because it would be nicer to enjoy being together right after the proposal.
Post # 5
Okay. Next summer would be an ideal time then. By that time, it will be close to two years together.
With that being said, should I consider getting her a promise ring for her birthday coming up in August? We’ve talked a lot about our future together and I’d like to give her a small sign of my commitment while I’m in another city for school.
Post # 6
@cmrocks: How old are the two of you? To me, promise rings are for younger couples. But that might just be me. I would never want my boyfriend to give me a promise ring if we were over the age of say 23 or 24, it just kind of seems silly. To me it’s either go big or go home… But I know a lot of bees would disagree with me.
If she’s mature about your relationship, she would be content with waiting until next summer for an engagement ring, and wont let the long distance get in the way. You should just get her a nice necklace or earrings for her birthday this summer, to let her know you love and appreciate her, but that way she’s not always looking at the promise ring wishing it were an engagement ring.
Post # 7
@cmrocks: I say go for the promise ring. Long distance relationships can be really tough, and having that reminder that you love her and are committed to her on her finger will help her when she’s missing you or having problems with the distance.
Post # 8
I would do a christmas proposal, because when you know, you know. why wait?
Post # 9
I’m 27 and she’s 25.
I’ll think about the promise ring a bit more. I know a few of her friends received promise rings before engagement rings but I can’t remember what her thoughts on that were.
I never really considered one until I was accepted to do my Masters. I was just going to wait until there was a natural time to propose. Now that I’m going to be in another city, it makes me want to do something a bit more.
Post # 10
@cmrocks: Promise rings are a nice sentiment for LDR couples, regardless of age. I think you should go for it!