(Closed) Advice needed: Reaching out to an abused woman

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1218 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I haven’t been in the situation you’re in, but I have *been* the abused woman in this sort of scenario.

I would suggest calling her or emailing her and letting her know, as you’ve said, that you would be happy to chat to her. Don’t feel like every conversation has to be about the fact that you are worried and think she is being abused. She will probably really appreciate just having someone there for her as a friend. Involving her in the wedding planning is a good idea – maybe ask her to do something that doesn’t involve travel, like send her some invites and ask her to pick her favourite.

You should also be prepared for the fact that as hard as you try to help her, she may never leave her abusive situation. It took me years to get out and I wasn’t married and didn’t have children. The longer she has been in this situation, the harder it is to leave. Even if you disagree with her decision to stay, please, don’t give up on being a friend to her. I had friends who probably started out with the best intentions, telling me my ex was a dick and to leave him, but they ditched me when I wouldn’t leave and I’ve never regained those friendships.

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