Post # 1
I’m struggling with sadness right now, and also a horrible practical quandary. As I posted a couple days ago, a wonderful family friend died, very suddenly and unexpectedly, this week.
I spent Weds. and Thurs. crying constantly. I’m feeling a little calmer now. But I realize this has created a situation that I don’t know how to deal with. His wife, who I love, is supposed to be our wedding photographer. But I have no idea if she’ll still want to do it. The wedding is 3 months away.
It feels wildly inappropriate and insensitive to even be thinking about it, and I wouldn’t dream of saying anything anytime soon. Right now, by all accounts, she is just in shock and despair. But I haven’t the slightest idea when or how to talk to her about this.
Has anyone been in a situation like this with a friendor? I really just don’t know what to do. Obviously it is the least important aspect of this heartbreaking moment, but it will have to be dealt with at some point.
Post # 3
I would look into finding someone else, and then check with her in a couple weeks…not that a couple weeks would change anything, but I imagine that weddings would be an especially tough thing to photograph 🙁 Sad day.
Post # 4
Wow that is a really tough situation. I totally understand your feeling concerned about this, but also feeling like it would be inappropriate to talk to her about it.
Did you have a second choice photographer? If I were you I’d start researching an alternative and if you find someone you like and can afford, I would explain to them the situation and ask if they can maybe hold the date for you for a few weeks as a first right of refusal type thing? (like, let you know before anyone else books the date and give you an opportunity to book). Then see if your friend brings it up within the next couple weeks and at some point bring it up in a very respectful way like: I’m sure this is the last thing on your mind and I feel horribly bringing it up… but would you like for me to book someone else for our wedding? I don’t want to add to your stress right now.
Post # 5
Thanks, ladies, this is helpful.
Post # 6
I would look into a second choice, but give her a few weeks and contact her. She may want the money and to do what she loves. I wouldn’t count her out at all.
Post # 7
I’m definitely not counting her out – I hope she’ll still want to do it!! I just don’t want to assume or to pressure her one way or another.