Advice needed…struggling emotionally!

posted 7 months ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
4370 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Continue therapy and find new outlets/creative outlets etc to use up some of your mental overdrive. Btw 26 isn’t a ‘baby’. 16 yes, 26 no.

I wish we could stop infantilizing adults. 

Post # 4
Member
1211 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

Fellow empath here – fun fact: you actually don’t have to absorb everyone’s stuff as hard as you’re probably doing right now.  I went to therapy for essentially your exact situation – I was so overwhelmed and depressed and I just didn’t feel like I could keep it together.  You actually have WAY more control over how much you let penetrate your space, and additionally you might have the same habit that I did where I was magnifying issues as a byproduct of feeling so overwhelmed.  Some things that helped me:

-Start making DAILY to do lists.  Not a big fat one of all the things you have to do, and all the steps you’ll have to take in order to get a better job, and every other little thing that just adds to the pile.  Thinking about ALL OF THE THINGS only adds to the pain and stress and causes a spiral.  What are you going to do TODAY to move forward.  That’s all you need to think about.  Just today.

-Picture yourself in a clear acrylic box.  The box follows you wherever you go.  It deadens the volume of the energy you’re getting from people and allows you a bit of mental space and distance from everyone else’s internal chaos.  Not only that, but work hard to understand that when the box is in place, you CANNOT reach out and touch people.  You cannot help them.  And that is good.  It is not your job to help people or even empathize with them.  You don’t even have to think about them at all.  They are outside your box, and that’s where they stay.  So with this visual of the box, not only does it create a feeling of people’s weirdo energy having a lesser effect on you (the way noises are deadened when you’re separated from things by walls), but it helps you to remember not to overextend yourself and FEEL for people.  You don’t have to feel for people.  You can choose when to give people your particular energy.

Other than that, I would highly highly highly suggest therapy with a good counselor.  It sounds like you’re in a place where you’re wanting things to change, and that’s great.  If you’re willing to accept a different way of thinking about things and break down your walls, your life can be so so much easier.

Post # 5
Member
2294 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse

danibee5683 :  Hi Bee!

I also am very outgoing and an empath. The other night I literally cried for about 2 hrs staight about work with my husband. He knows I feel what my coworkers feel and sometimes I just need a break. So I totally understand. 

I’m sorry you haven’t had a vacation. In my opinion, even a small vacation is necessary sometimes to decompress. 

I hope you get proposed to soon and your foster kitties are doing okay. Keep us updated!

Post # 6
Member
685 posts
Busy bee

 

Start reading self-help books. At first you will feel cynical while reading it but subconsiously, they will be doing wonders. And it takes a LONG time to catch up to that.

In mean time, of course do therapy. 

And I always recommend this which is to work out. Yes! Especially on the days you feel like you rather crawl under a rock and die. It takes a LOT of focus and energy. It releases the ‘feel good’ hormones. All of this will take you away from what you are feeling and going through. It will also end up adding positive results.

Also, eat good quality foods whenever you can. I know it’s not always possible. And eating ‘healthy’ isn’t always the same as eating high quality/potent foods. For e.g.: nuts – they have lots of fats and calories, but they are good fats, and they have lots of benefits. Bananas, superfruits, etc. etc. 

And, if you are drinking (aka, night cap), then stop it right away. Alcohol is a depressant.

I have done ALL of the above and it still doesn’t seem like it helps but some days I just want to feel like it ‘doesn’t hurt as much’ vs. ‘help’.

Post # 7
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2019 - City, State

For career stuff, literally EVERYONE I know struggles a lot in their 20-30s feeling like they need to do more, make more, transition careers, find their life’s purpose/passion, etc. I’m 30 and it’s just started to become less of an existential crisis. 

You don’t know what you want to do because you have many talents, that’s actually a good thing. Most college students graduate not knowing what they want to do and just having a degree under their belt without any idea how it would apply to their job. That’s what internships are for, and talking to others who work in the field to get ideas for what it’s like.

If you missed those steps it’s ok, you can STILL do them now. We had an intern at my company who was 26 – he had taken gap years and that was ok, he’s doing great. Going back to college helps you in a few ways – people are MUCH more likely to help students and it will open doors for you, even if you can just say you are enrolled in a program.

Though having a college degree is a door opener, if you can prove you’re a great event planner or something else where your work speaks for itself, then just focus on how you would get better and be able to make it into a career.

The part you mentioned about everyone having their life stuff together and balancing house, kids, work, school etc.? I’ll tell you for sure they don’t have everything covered. You learn to let the small things slide. Literally, parents will tell you they are living a day at a time, and if they get through in one piece it’s a small miracle. My SO and I – our house is a mess but we don’t care! 🙂 It’s all about the trade offs and focusing on what matters to you personally whether it’s more time with the SO instead of paying for new floors (live with the damage) or focusing on career but having less time to go to school (just scraping by in class or deciding to defer), or making school a priority (taking out loans to fund it).

You are not alone, but everyone has to figure out what works for themselves!

Post # 8
Member
3271 posts
Sugar bee

lifeisbeeutiful :  +1

OP, regardless of what you see on this board, 26 is years old is not a baby. I had a baby at this age. You’re an adult, but you’re still in the process of change. If therapy is helpful, continue it, and be open to new experiences. If you don’t like your job, now is the time to make a change.

Post # 14
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2019 - City, State

@danibee6683 

I understand where you are coming from, everyone keeps saying how we’re “still young” etc. etc. so I took your meaning exactly to be like you know people say that but you still want to be at a place where you feel like an “adult” in that you have a handle on everything life throws your way. 🙂

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