(Closed) Advice on asking BM

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Should I ask the 5th BM to be in the wedding later than the other girls?
    Yes, she'll understand! : (0 votes)
    Yes, but don't tell her all the details of when you asked others : (12 votes)
    86 %
    No, better not risk it : (1 votes)
    7 %
    Other (please explain) : (1 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    538 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011 - Franciscan Gardens

    *sigh* I’m in this same predicament! I think that if you really want her to be a part of your day then just write her a lovely note and ask. Don’t address the “lateness” of it. It’s not like she’s stepping in just days before- you’re asking her 7 months prior, so she will still be a part of all the fun bachelorette & shower stuff.

    Post # 5
    Member
    759 posts
    Busy bee

    if you truly want her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, then i would just ask.  i don’t think its rude cause you have a while til your wedding which gives her time to prepare and it will not be an inconvenience on her to buy her dress etc.  i definitely wouldn’t explain anything to her unless she asks specifically. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    538 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011 - Franciscan Gardens

    I think in person is always much better! I just said a note because most of my BMs are not local so I couldn’t ask in person 🙂 Definitely try to really include her in any additional planning so she feels a part of it. One of my BMs is in grad school in TX and we are in CA, so while she’s here on Xmas break we are going down to our venue (about 1.5 hrs away) and look at hotels to reserve a room block. I know it’s not super *fun* but it’s the only thing that she can really do since she’s so far away and she’s excited to just be included.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1629 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I did that.  I have one friend that doesn’t really come around much anymore and is kind of flaky so I didn’t really feel like I needed her up there, but at the same time she’s part of the group so there would be hurt feelings if I didn’t ask her.  Plus I’m in her wedding a month before mine, so it was just easier and better for everyone to have her in it.  Anyways,  I ended up asking her a few weeks after the other girls and she had no idea.  She was thrilled and I avoided a lot of weirdness that would’ve happened otherwise.

    Post # 8
    Member
    291 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I voted “Other”.  I have a girlfriend ( who set me and the FH up) who lives in California and I am going to see her before I planned on asking anyone else.  I’m going to ask her in person so it will be done earlier.  I know that no one else will care, because they are all my friends.  If you have to wait to ask someone else, or need someone else, don’t make a big deal about the “when” so much as the “I need you” aspect. 

    The topic ‘Advice on asking BM’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors