(Closed) Advice on asking sister to not be a bridesmaid

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I think you just have to do the difficult thing of calling her up and explaining all of this to her. Let her know that you love her and care about her, but that your relationship is too strained right now for her to be such an important part of your wedding. You might also want to consider giving her some other role. Maybe she can do a reading during the ceremony or something, and if you go with something like that, then when you call her you can frame the conversation around asking her to do that instead of around informing her she is not a bridesmaid.

EDIT: sorry, I misread and didn’t realize she’s already a Bridesmaid or Best Man. This will be hard for you, but I think you just have to tell her.

Post # 5
Member
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

@LoveGator2012:  Maybe give her a moment where she has to make a final statement, and the dress shopping could be that moment. Since she hasn’t been responding, set a date with your other Bridesmaid or Best Man and let your sister know. If she shows, take that as an indication that she’s interested. If she doesn’t, then you two should choose a dress and then inform her that she’s made it quite clear to you she doesn’t want to be involved.

Post # 6
Member
741 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think you should ask her to step down as a last resort. Try to sit down like two adults and work out your issues first. Regardless of your wedding, it’s still an important relationship to try to salvage. From what I’m getting, it’s not like anything huge happened that you guys can’t come to terms with – so sitting her down for coffee and listening to her side of the story and explaining yours might be less painful for both of you than having her missing from your Bridesmaid or Best Man wedding photos. 

Post # 8
Member
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

If she has a bad attitude while shopping, pull her aside just the two of you (in a fitting room, at a cafe, whatever) and tell her that you can tell she’s not enjoying this and that you want to know what’s going on. Maybe that can be the starting point in repairing your relationship or maybe it can be a moment for her to say that being involved is making her unhappy and then you can make a bilateral decision together.

Post # 10
Member
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

If she doesn;t want to talk about it, maybe you can ask her, “Do you want to do this? Are you happy being involved?”

Post # 11
Member
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

Good luck, by the way. I certainly don’t envy you.

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