(Closed) Advice on Bridal Shower Date Conflict (LONG)?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

I vote for #3.  Two reasons:

#1: You’re right, it would probably be hard to have a party on Mother’s Day, especially a party attended by women only.

#2: Your younger sister sounds selfish.  Perhaps she would realize this when you don’t attend her graduation since she just couldn’t bear to party with her SISTER to celebrate a wedding.  Sometimes it takes perspective.

Post # 4
Member
5498 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I also vote number 3. Do you think running that option by your sister would make her realize she’s not acting very sisterly?

Post # 5
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee

Honestly, I think you shouldn’t just skip your sister’s graduation. That’s a milestone event just as important as a wedding, and definitely more important than a shower. 

My question is, what does your sister suggest? Have you asked her what you should do and lay out the situation the way you did here (i.e. showing all the limitations of vacation time, etc). It seems like Friday night would be the logical time, and if you ask her opinion, maybe she’ll think about it rather than just being confrontational with you, realize that there’s really no other time that works, and tell you to do it Friday. 

If your younger sister insists on doing Sunday, maybe talk to a few VIP guests and see how they feel. You may be surprised about what works for them and what doesn’t. If they can’t make Sunday as you suspect, you can relay this to younger sis, hopefully convincing her that Friday night is the way to go. 

The bottom line is, I would try to work with your sisters and parents to resolve this, especially your younger sister. I know not everyone may agree, but this is HER graduation and HER time to shine. I don’t think she’s being very selfish. I just graduated from college last year and spending time with my friends for one last time as college students, all living in the same city, meant a lot to me. So acknowledge that and help her understand why you are asking her to give it up for your shower. 

Post # 6
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Could you not have the shower around dinner hour on the Friday night.  From what I recall of my young, wild days, I never went out until after 10 anyway 😉  She could easily make an appearance at your shower, and still have plenty of time to go out with her friends.

Post # 7
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Wow, sorry you’re in such a tough situation. I’m not really sure which option I would recommend but I want to defend you sister for just a second. Graduating college is a HUGE milestone and accomplishment and can be just as life changing as a wedding. She has worked hard for that degree and she deserves the time to celebrate with her friends especially because she may not see some of them again for a long time. I don’t think she’s being selfish at all. I don’t think that’s at all what you’re implying but from the responses above I think she kind of got a bad rap in the whole deal. It’s not her fault. I understand that weddings are impotant too but we all need to remember that she has most likely worked her butt off to get to her graduation day.

That being said, I’m wondering if there would be a way for you to have your shower on Friday in the early evening when both of your sisters could be there and then she could still go out with her friends afterwards? Could you maybe pitch that idea? Would she be serving as co-hostess? If so, could your 2 sisters maybe work out an arrangement where she does the prep work and then your sister does the tear down and clean up which would allow them to both be a part of the shower and avoid all of the stress being thrown onto one of them but it would still allow her plenty of time for her friends.

Congrats to both you AND your sister for these very important milestones.

Post # 8
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@girlwitharing: must’ve taken me a long time to write my comment (darn Oscars!) so I didn’t see yours!

Post # 9
Member
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Have your shower on Friday and give your sister the option of missing it if she would rather be with her friends.  I think she has every right to be with her friends the day before graduation, and you have every right to have your shower that weekend since you can’t fly out again.  If it means she only makes a brief appearance or does not show to your shower, I understand it would hurt but it is the best way out of a tough situation.

Post # 11
Member
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I’m so glad that you found a solution that works for everyone!  Seeing her senior project might be more meaningful than attending graduation with thousands.

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