(Closed) Advice on bridesmaid having a newborn at my wedding?

posted 5 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I have a bridesmaid who will possibly have a week old baby, or older, or still be pregnant who knows?!  I honestly think she’s craaaazy to even bother with my wedding but she’s dead set on going and being a bridesmaid.  So I asked her what I could do and she and her husband have it pretty much figured out.  Our venue has a pack-n-play or something so I offered that up…and she said they won’t need food or drink.  She’s worried I’ll feel like she’s ruining pictures by having baby or not having baby…and I told her no matter what she can stand up there sit down, stay home, whatever she needs…her name is in the program…she’s by my side either in person or in spirit and it’s all good. 

Post # 5
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

The baby at that age is likely to sleep best in people’s arms, so maybe make a list of people that are willing to hold the baby (and who bridesmaid is comfortable with). If she is nursing, she will need a private area to do so (it takes awhile to be able to just whip it out in public) and maybe also to change him/her. I would have felt uncomfortable leaving the baby in a room at that age to nap, but seriously, babies that age can sleep through anything.

Your Bridesmaid or Best Man will need water and readily available snacks, especially at her nursing station~ I was RAVENOUS when my little guy was that age. She will need flexibility like crazy, so do what you can to accommodate (if she has to feed and it’s picture-time, try getting some all-guy or family shots while she feeds).

5-6 weeks is a lot easier than 2.5-3 months, so I’m sure it will go well. How great to see such an understanding bride!

Post # 6
Member
7758 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Dareebs:  I was at a family wedding with an 8 week old. I asked not to be a bridesmaid, but I was still in quite a few family photos. It was really no big deal, I either held her or she slept in her pram. No special accommodation is necessary. I discretely breast fed at the reception, but if the mother is uncomfortable with that, a room to retreat to is an added bonus. All it needs is a chair. When out and about, mothers get by without a change table and a crib.

The only problem I can see is if baby wakes up in the ceremony and needs a feed. She can try to prevent this by timing feeds and by feeding baby soon before. Babies are unpredictable and it’s hard to guarantee 100%, but you can be pretty sure it’ll be ok.

So long as you’re happy with her maybe taking a break during the photos, that’ll go fine. Perhaps just be prepared to do them out of order.

Post # 8
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

My cousin has a three week old baby and is a bridesmaid in a wedding next week. She rented a room for her mom in the same hotel the wedding is at and Grandma will call Mom if baby needs Mommy – but otherwise they’re pumping and hoping that Grandma can just have some quality time with her new granddaughter.

Post # 9
Member
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We went to a wedding a couple summers ago and our friends had just had a baby. AND she was a Bridesmaid or Best Man and he was Groomsmen. They had her mom there who held baby during the ceremony. I think mom might have pumped a bit beforehand so that if he needed to nurse during the ceremony, grandma had a bottle for him. At the reception, he was passed around and when he’d fuss, we’d take him back to his mom so he could nurse. Of course, this was a wedding where the groom was the oldest of 10 kids.

Post # 11
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Can I just say that I love how accomodating you are with your friend? I feel like so many brides expect their families to plan their lives around them for their day – I’ve heard of many getting annoyed at a family member or bridesmaid for DARING to be pregnant or having a newborn within a 3 month vicinity of their wedding.

 

KUDOS! Seriously. Let’s be friends.

Post # 12
Member
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Dareebs:  Exactly! I think the only worry would be germs. Not sure about Michigan, but in Washington we’ve had some serious (people dying) whooping cough outbreaks. And since babies can’t be vacinated for it for a few months, parents are being more cautious about taking their newborns out in public. The shot isn’t bad, and if you’ve gone more than 5 years without a booster, I’d recommend getting it just for your friends’ sanity. My arm was a little sore, but it’s not any worse than a flu shot, and my insurance covered it. I’m just a whimp with shots πŸ˜‰

Post # 13
Member
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I accompanied my sister to a wedding where she was a bridesmaid when her baby was 3 weeks old. My sister and her husband and my mom, as well as the baby, were invited to the wedding and I was not and my sister was afraid it would seem like I was inviting myself to the wedding but I just stayed in the back room with the baby stuff (and sometimes the baby and sometimes not) and brought my own food. The baby ended up attending the ceremony because she was asleep in her carrier that her daddy was wearing on his chest. I had her for most of the reception, and my sister came back when needed to feed her.

I would reccomend that someone other than the bridesmaid be in charge of diaper changes and burping, you don’t want to end up with a dirty bridesmaid dress! I did all that for my sister, and had several changes of clothes for me and the baby. I don’t know how normal it was because she’s really the only baby I’ve had a lot of experience with, but she spit up a lot at that age and sometimes the burp cloths weren’t enough to contain it and it would get all over her and me.

It’s nice if the room is big enough for a decent sized walking circle, sometimes the only way to make the baby quiet is to keep walking. I was lucky and it was a fairly large room, and had a nice big window so I didn’t get too bored πŸ™‚

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