(Closed) Advice on dealing with alcoholic FFIL at our wedding.

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
237 posts
Helper bee

Is he an active alcoholic or a recovering alcoholic? If he’s recovering, I’d have Fiance talk to him in a positive, re-inforcing way, like “dad, you’ve been so great. I know there will be alcohol at the wedding but the best wedding gift you can give me is to stay sober and healthy.” Or something similar. If he is an active alcoholic, I would still have Fiance say something similar. You should definitely not get involved. And if he is recovering I’m sure he’s stressing about this enough on his own.

Telling the bartenders not to serve him would be humiliating for your FI’s family and for Future Father-In-Law. Particularly since he’ll just have someone else get him drinks or will bring his own. Quietly telling the bartenders to watch him and cut him off is another thing entirely. I feel bad for your Fiance and FFIl; that’s a sad situation to be in. 

Post # 4
Member
5958 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Don’t police the guy, fact is that is not your problem and while I’m sure your concern comes from the best possible place in your heart, there is no way for you to intervene on this without embarrassing him terribly.  Hope for the best, prepare for the worst, and if does get three sheets to the wind have a pot of black coffee and the number for a cab on hand.

Post # 5
Member
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We notified the venue/bartender about particular guests who become issues if they are over served, which includes my husband’s father, a recovered/recovering alcoholic. He didn’t get drunk, so I’m guessing the bartender made his drinks weak. 

Post # 6
Member
986 posts
Busy bee

My dad is a recovered alcoholic (5 years sober! Go daddy!), and while he initially expressed concerns about having alcohol at the wedding, he later made the very good point that there is alcohol in our fridge at home and he doesn’t touch that, so why would he drink at the wedding? Like PPs said, I would definitely recommend that you talk to the bartender and let them know that he shouldn’t be served. I personally would rather deal with that fallout than the fallout of him falling out of the wagon – no pun intended

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