Post # 1
I was just wondering if anyone else has had a similar situation. My future father in law is an alcoholic and I’m worried about how he might try to sneak over to the bar during either the cocktail hour or reception to get a drink. I am sure that on that day I am going to have a million things on my mind and worrying about him getting drunk is not what I want to focus on. Any suggestions? I’m wondering if I should just tell the bartenders in advance that he is ABSOLUTELY not to be served for ny reason that night. Or should I just have my fiance try and talk to him leading up to the big day. I don’t want to cause fights or get anyone mad but I want to enjoy our day without worrying about him falling down, falling asleep or yelling. Help!
Post # 3
Is he an active alcoholic or a recovering alcoholic? If he’s recovering, I’d have Fiance talk to him in a positive, re-inforcing way, like “dad, you’ve been so great. I know there will be alcohol at the wedding but the best wedding gift you can give me is to stay sober and healthy.” Or something similar. If he is an active alcoholic, I would still have Fiance say something similar. You should definitely not get involved. And if he is recovering I’m sure he’s stressing about this enough on his own.
Telling the bartenders not to serve him would be humiliating for your FI’s family and for Future Father-In-Law. Particularly since he’ll just have someone else get him drinks or will bring his own. Quietly telling the bartenders to watch him and cut him off is another thing entirely. I feel bad for your Fiance and FFIl; that’s a sad situation to be in.
Post # 4
Don’t police the guy, fact is that is not your problem and while I’m sure your concern comes from the best possible place in your heart, there is no way for you to intervene on this without embarrassing him terribly. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst, and if does get three sheets to the wind have a pot of black coffee and the number for a cab on hand.
Post # 5
We notified the venue/bartender about particular guests who become issues if they are over served, which includes my husband’s father, a recovered/recovering alcoholic. He didn’t get drunk, so I’m guessing the bartender made his drinks weak.
Post # 6
My dad is a recovered alcoholic (5 years sober! Go daddy!), and while he initially expressed concerns about having alcohol at the wedding, he later made the very good point that there is alcohol in our fridge at home and he doesn’t touch that, so why would he drink at the wedding? Like PPs said, I would definitely recommend that you talk to the bartender and let them know that he shouldn’t be served. I personally would rather deal with that fallout than the fallout of him falling out of the wagon – no pun intended
Post # 7
Thank you all for the ideas and encouragement. You are right when you say its a sad situation. My fiance’s family has tried to get him help before but he just refuses to change his ways. So is not a recovering alcoholic, but one who is very much in the throws of a sad problem. So I like the idea of my fiance talking to him and being very sincere in saying that the best wedding gift to us would be to stay sober and healthy. It seems to be the only way to have it come accross without placing a lot of blame on him and pointing fingers. I just want to enjoy our day without causing any kind of scene or embarassment to my fiance…and myself. Thanks so much for the help.