(Closed) Advice on dealing with anxiety

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1021 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Anxiety is the absolute worst! I was also going to the counseling center during grad school for anxiety. It really is true that your thoughts dictate your behavior. If you think about getting anxiety and feeling nauseous, you’ll probably get anxiety and feel nauseous. Anxiety is very real, but it’s also only in your head. Try to pay attention to each negative thought (“I’m afraid I’m going to be nauseous on the morning of my wedding”) and replace it with a positive one (I’m not going to feel nauseous, but even if I do, I’ll get through it.).

My best friend experienced anxiety about throwing up during her grad program and I remember how miserable she was. I know that medication helped her through that time. I don’t think medication is a good long-term solution, but if it has helped you cope with panic attacks in the past, it might be worth paying the money just to have it on your wedding day.

Also, just a thought. If you do feel nauseous on your wedding day, would you be able to eat something small but high in protien, like some nuts or a Cliff bar? Having something in your stomach might help ease your anxiety about fainting, at least.

Post # 4
Member
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I’ve experienced anxiety throughout my life, definitely. Perhaps not to the same degree, but here are a few things that I’ve found helpful:

1) Breathing. Breathing can be your biggest ally, actually. Sometimes you can slow yourself down (both body and mind) by simply taking deep, slow breathes. I thought it sounded silly when I first read it, but I tried it, and it really does help. Not only does your brain get the needed oxygen, I think it helps you focus on something aside from the anxious/nervous feeling building in your chest. Maybe watch something like this to get an idea of what I mean. If you Google ‘breathing exercises’ you’ll find all sorts of stuff. I first learned of using breathing exercises to calm nerves in my public speech classes in college. 

2) Yoga. Yoga was another one of those things that I sort of turned my nose up at first, but it also really has helped me. It helps you feel better physically (flexibility, strength, etc) but also helps greatly with breathing (per video above). I find I focus so much on getting a position right and keeping my balance that it helps the other thoughts leave my mind.

3) Chamomile Tea. Seriously, this stuff is the bomb. Drink a cup daily to help calm your nerves. It also is nice to have a cup before bed, it helps in sleeping.

4) Eat well. What you eat affects you greatly.

5) Exercise. I feel like this one is a lot harder, cause when you’re feeling anxious or stressed, often the LAST thing you want to do is exercise! It can take every ounce of effort to get moving. Try to start it up on the days when you’re feeling good, and it makes it easier to motivate yourself on the days when you’re not. Even walking can make a big difference; try to find a friend (or your Fiance!) who will walk or exercise with you. Endorphins are our body’s natural feel-good drug!

6) Music. I have go-to music that ALWAYS helps me feel better. 

I hope you start feeling better and more at peace! I know how anxiety can consume everything and just leave that huge feeling of dread and it’s so tough to deal with. Potentially try the steps above (and I’m sure other great things other Bees with suggest) and focus on the positive things in your life. Take it one day at a time! Don’t beat yourself up for setbacks. And always, just remember to breathe. 🙂

Post # 5
Member
233 posts
Helper bee

Anxiety is the worst.  Perhaps talk to your doctor about a mediciation (such as Xanax) that works quickly that you can take IF needed.   I have a phobia based panic attacks (anxiety) and knowing that I have something that can make it go away helps me get through it.  I don’t actually need to take the medication.  Just having it with me makes me feel okay because I know that I can take it if I need to.  Often the fear of having a panic attack is worse than the panic attack itself!!!

Post # 6
Member
366 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@Lily24:  

Yikes this sounds so scary. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. I undestand how bad anxiety/panic disorders can get. I totally agree with MrsTahoe about the breathing exercises. I did it in church one time on a hot day when I got my period and was having unexpected, horrible cramps. It worked! I was totally surprised that my cramps had subsided for the 45 minute mass.

You should also try practicing several times the actual wedding ceremony. Like wear your dress, walk down the aisle, everything, have some friends taking pics of you, get yourself used to the mood. That should help desensitize you to the event. Hope this helped, good luck 🙂

Post # 7
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m in exactly the same boat- my doctor joked with me that there are 3 medications that female grad students need- anti-anxiety pills, sleeping pills, and birth control pills, so know that you are not alone and that planning a wedding makes it worse (i spent 2 full days unable to do anything including eating because of the post office messing up our postage…)

what helps me get through is reminding myself that I am not responsible for how other people feel, especially about our wedding. The only person I am responsible for is myself. Sometimes that’s hard to remember and realize that I can change the way I feel, but, at least for me, it really helps me to focus on me and what I need to do to make myself more comfortable in the situation.

Also, you should call your on campus doctor and ask for a refill over the phone, explaining that you have a wedding coming up and you can’t afford to spend the money to see them, but that you will come in when school starts again. My on campus dr said she would consult me over the phone if I needed prescription changes leading up to the wedding- they should be pretty understanding about it.

Post # 8
Member
1414 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Anxiety is a pain…..

Do not just stop taking your meds, ok?

You can probably just call up your doctor and ask him to send a refill order to your pharmacy.

Post # 9
Member
366 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014
Post # 10
Member
211 posts
Helper bee

I am a counselor but am pretty new to the field.  I agree with Mrs.Bot and would suggest you make a list of positive messages to give yourself regarding your wedding day.  And read it daily until your wedding.  This is called affirmations, I am sure you can google it.  Basically your positive messages should be the opposite of your fears.  So if you fear is you are going to feel sick, how about “It is going to feel so good marrying the man of my dreams”  or “It is going to feel amazing to have all the people I love most in the world come together to support me”.

Go to your library and get a good self help book on anxiety if you can’t afford treatment.  Do you have a friend or family member (FI?) that can help calm you if you start to feel anxious.

On my wedding day, if I am starting to stress about something going wrong with the small details, I plan to tell myself “It doesn’t matter if my dress rips, the food is burned etc, if at the end of the day I am married to man I love, that is all that matters!

Post # 11
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

yeah, i’d say in addition to what most everyone has said to call your school doctor and see if they won’t give you refills over the phone

Post # 12
Member
5405 posts
Bee Keeper

I recommend the book biology of belief. It might give you some perspective on how your thoughts affect you. 

Post # 13
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I know how terrible this is. I actually had never had any problems with anxiety until I started wedding planning. Panic attacks hit my like a ton of bricks a few months ago. I’ve gotten a handle on it now I think, but it does come up occasionally still. I’ll echo what a lot of the others have said. Exercise helps, yoga, meditation, diaphram breathing (although its difficult to make yourself do this when you’re really anxious). Get plenty of sleep, eat well, for me allowing myself time (a few days) to not think about the wedding or do any planning can help. I do have Xanax that I carry with me everywhere. I’ve only taken it a few times, but it helps just knowing I have it. It does become that vicious cycle of getting anxiety because you’re worried about it. Since I have the meds I tell myself its okay if i have a panic attack or anxiety I’ll just take a pill and it will pass quickly and then I usually don’t need it at all. I think the generic form is pretty inexpensive and you might be able to get a refill over the phone. I would explore your options.

Post # 15
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yeah, I have trouble eating too when I get really anxious. I went 2-3 days without being able to do any more that nibble on toast, which of course just made me feel worse. Maybe make sure to have some easy comfort foods with you on that day like some saltines you can just munch on. That way at least you’ll be able to eat something. Also about the fear of passing out, this was one of my big fears too. I had trouble driving for a while because I would always feel like I was going to pass out which would make me more anxious, and so on, but I never actually would. I started reading more about axiexty and realized its very unlikely you will actaully pass out when you’re highly anxious because it actually raised your blood pressure and usually fainting is caused by a drop in blood pressure. It helps to remind myself of that sometimes.

 

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