- 6 years ago
Okay, so my Fiance and I originally planned to do a destination wedding in Mexico. Basically my dad and step mom would not have been able to come because they do not travel out of the US and his mom said she wouldn’t go and was being really negative about it. We scratched that idea after 2 months of research and planning. Now we have paid a deposit for a venue that is completely refundable, and paid about $20 for STD’s through vistaprint. Not concerned about losing $20. FI’s mom is constantly nagging him because we are not getting married in a church and is constantly being negative about everything we plan. I can deal with that and still go on planning the wedding, but he gets really stressed and upset about it. Other issues that are more serious to me….My mom and brother are both alcoholics and i don’t know that i can keep my mom sober for the wedding and rehearsal. I have talked to her about it and she swears she will be on her best behavior. But, she has let me down in the past. As much as I want to believe her, she is really just unpredictable and could go on a drinking binge 3 days before the wedding. My brother I am about 80% sure he would be able to keep cool.
Another issue is that we went to my dad’s for Christmas over the weekend. We were all having so much fun and having cocktails and just talking and hanging out. It was actually really awesome. I’m not super close to dad and step mom, but I do love them very much. We have about a 2 hour distance between us. Anyway, my step mom and dad have been together for most of my life. My bro has a different dad. My step mom starts going on and on about my mom to me in front of my Fiance. I was so taken back and shocked. I could not believe the stuff she was saying and she just would not quit. It was so uncomfortable and I kept changing the subject and she would not let it go. It’s been several days since we have been back, and I can’t shake it. I am so mad at her. The stuff she was saying really has nothing to do with her. I am 29 years old. My mom rarely speaks of them. This all just really has me worried about the wedding and rehearsal. She clearly hates my mom, and I worry that there are too many loose cannons. I don’t know what to do. Fiance says it is all too much stress, lets just elope. He says with all of the money we are about to spend, we could have the best honeymoon ever.
I am seriously considering eloping since we haven’t sent the STD’s yet and deposit is refundable. I have 3 bridesmaids who are all so excited. I would feel bad telling them that there is no wedding. Can anyone please give me some advice here? I am so torn and confused. Between my family and his mom, I don’t know if I am risking a ton of disasters. If my mom or brother were to get drunk, it would devestate me because it would not be a classy or pretty sight. If his mom were to say more hateful or negative stuff, especially at the wedding I would be heartbroken. If my step mom were to say anything rude (seems likely since she pretty much ruined christmas for me and FI) I just don’t know.