Post # 1
Member
1722 posts
Bumble bee
So I have decided that I no longer want my best friend of 8 years in my life. It has been a one sided relationship for few years now and I am at the end of my rope with her. Well I have never ended a friendship before so I don’t know if it would be better to tell her “Hey this isn’t working for me and I want to break up” (probably not those exact words) or just phase her slowly and stop answering her texts, if she ever actually tries to contact me. We got in a fight a few weeks ago and she texted me on my birthday last week but thats it for her contacting me latly. I’m usually the one to start conversations so I’m not even sure if she would try to get ahold of me.
I’d also like to mention that I am not confrontational person and hate telling people things they don’t want to here but I also feel like if don’t just straight up tell her then I would be copping out in a way. Ugh I just don’t know!!!
Post # 3
Member
3170 posts
Sugar bee
Oh I’ve ended plenty or friendships in my lifetime. I just stop talking to them. There is no real reason you need to say anything about it. Just stop contacting her and she’ll get the point. If she asks whats up, then say something.
Post # 4
Member
2954 posts
Sugar bee
I agree with the PP that’s exactly what I would also do.
Post # 5
Member
5965 posts
Bee Keeper
@alyssaC: Personally, I would just take a big step back and leave her alone, nothing is gained from a confrontation and it usually only makes things hard on everyone, but if you have things to say to her, and just have to get it off your chest, by all means, give her a piece of your mind, but don’t expect any revelations or apologies for your effort, just the same kinds of things being tossed back at you.
Post # 6
Member
4524 posts
Honey bee
@Nona99: +1
@alyssaC: I agree with PP: just quit talking to her. I had a friend “break up” with me once and it was the most awkward thing I’ve ever experienced. We hadnt seen eachother in months and she called me and told me we werent friends anymore.
Post # 7
Member
8472 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
I’ve also ended quite a few relationships and did it by simply not being in touch anymore. Confrontations are not necessary. Eventually she’ll get the hint.
Post # 8
Member
2055 posts
Buzzing bee
@alyssaC: I have ended a couple of close friendships before, and I just told it straight. It SUCKED, and it took time for me to finally say something, but I had a “break up” talk because I thought it would be unfair to them (and a cop-out) if I just let the relationship fizzle out. Plus, it allowed me to have closure (esp. since I felt as if Damocles’ sword was hanging over my head until I finally did it).
Since I would want the courtesy of having someone be straightforward with me, I at least wanted to extend them that same consideration.
*I also want to add that I ended the friendships because I felt they were unhealthy—not because they had done something violent, horrible, unforgivable, etc.
Post # 9
Member
4416 posts
Honey bee
@badabing88: agreed — I had a friend “break up” with me after she moved away and our lives moved in different directions. I was like, why are we even having this conversation? This is pointless and uncomfortable. We both already knew we weren’t friends anymore.
Post # 10
Member
4524 posts
Honey bee
@iarebridezilla: Exactly. She was going on about how she never hears from me….and I never heard from her! I guess I’m just not super attached to people. When she “dumped” me, I was like “did you think this would upset me?” Same with a friend who stopped talking to me because I couldnt make her 3 bachelorette parties. BIG loss.
Post # 11
Member
5195 posts
Bee Keeper
I would honestly just phase her out slowly. I did this recently to a friend of mine. I just decided that I couldn’t put up with her drama, lies and nonsense anymore – so I basically just stopped talking to her. I haven’t seen her since January, but I did tell her when I got engaged in April to avoid drama. She sent me a “OMG! SO HAPPY!” text and told me that she misses her “best friend” and that we have to hang out soon. That just proved to me how fake and phony she is.. I haven’t spoken to you in 5 months and you still think I’m your best friend? You’d have to be an idiot to think that. I haven’t spoken to her since, and won’t be inviting her to the wedding.
Post # 12
Member
1722 posts
Bumble bee
O thank goodness, I thought you were all going to tell me I was being a big baby about not wanting to talk to her lol. I hate the idea of confrontation and it would be so awkward :/
Post # 13
Member
11273 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
@alyssaC: i just would stop contacting her. you say that it’s all one sided anyways so she probably won’t even notice.