- 5 years ago
I have a long history with my Mother-In-Law, but the short story is that she was fiercly against me marrying her son (only because she just didn’t want him to marry anyone)–but she soon learned that she had no choice in the matter and overnight did a 180. She now has turned into a super sweet woman and I really do believe she loves me in her own way. I’m blessed that things worked out so well….almost too well since she wants me all to herself at times….and I don’t know how to convey to her that I can’t do it without offending her. My preference is to spend time with her when my husband is around simply because I still don’t feel 100% comfortable and because I also would just like my husband to be there.
I’ve been to my in laws house at least twice a month for the length of our marriage (6months)….but I ALWAYS go with Darling Husband. So this weekend Darling Husband and I are invited over since MIL’s family members are in town. Darling Husband gets out of work later in the day, so he said he’ll pick me up to go together. Mother-In-Law told me that even if Darling Husband can’t come earlier, that I should just come over in the afternoon. I told her I would try but that I’m not sure if I can make it. She is being persistent about it and I’m sure she has the best of intentions in wanting to have me there early to hang out with her family members, but I still just want to go with Darling Husband in the evening–as opposed to showing up by myself in the afternoon.
How can I communicate to her that I will be coming with Darling Husband later in the evening without offending her? I’m sure she’ll still be super persistent about how much she wants me to come earlier to meet everyone and chat and hang out. At that point my only option is to say I’m really busy during the day—but is that sufficient?
Would love some tips. Also, please note, that being straightforward is not an option since culturally we can’t just tell someone “no, I don’t really want to come alone”–we have to be super sensitive about how we phrase things when we are declining an offer.