(Closed) Advice on how to get guest info from FMIL who I'm not close to at all!

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
584 posts
Busy bee

Email is always easiest!  I think I’ve done all guest list communication with my FMIL through email and we’re on great terms.  You want to do it in email anyways so that you can just cut and paste the list.

Post # 4
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I agree with the PP. If I were you I’d email FMIL.

Post # 6
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Are you close to any member of his family?  Perhaps a sibling or his grandparents or an aunt or cousins?  If I was in your position, I would meet with that person, create the guest list with them, attain whatever addresses I could from them…and then approach FMIL with the list for her to add to/fill in empty addresses.  Good luck…in-law dynamics are such fragile situations :/

Post # 7
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Well in that case I think you should both call her together. Just put her on speaker phone.

Post # 9
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I just walked across the road and asked FMIL and she has emailed me the info.

Post # 10
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@violet25:  his family, his responsibility.  do you guys live together?  if so, i’m sure there is a time where you are both home and you can say “honey, i need you to call your Mom now.”

Post # 11
Member
3302 posts
Sugar bee

Yes, pick up the phone and call her. Make the first move and hopefully it will turn out for the best.

Post # 12
Member
2282 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Take a deep breath and contact his mother. She might even appreciate your reaching out to her, if you have an unpleasant history. And if you do everything through him, she might take it to mean that the unpleasant history isn’t over as far as you’re concerned.

She may also have concerns that you don’t plan to take her guest list wishes into account, so contacting her directly is the best way to open up communication and start fresh.

Post # 14
Member
3302 posts
Sugar bee

Let her know you need the list in a week or two because you want the calligrapher to have them by (date here) or you need to address them by (date here), then have your fiancé follow up.

Post # 15
Member
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

ahh i am much like this. i am not close to my fmil and my fi is not very good at telling his mum anything at all really! she doesnt even know our wedding date yet, and her response to our engagement was “weddings are a waste of money, dont expect me to pay for anything” hmm.

 

anyway, good luck with it. i would just ask her yourself maybe. 

 

xo

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