(Closed) Impromptu visit to SO’s parents’ house?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 4
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@goodasitgets:  You might not know them well, but it seems they would really like your company.  I’m sure SO would love having you there for support while grandma’s sick.  This is a great opportunity for you to show SO’s parents what a catch you are!  I say, go!  Yes, it may be a little uncomfortable.  But remind yourself:  your SO and his family have invited you to be with them.  They want you there and they want to get to know you.  These are the first steps to building a great relationship with them ๐Ÿ™‚

In terms of what to bring…would talking to SO help?  Maybe he can suggest something?  (Also, you say “this country.”  Which country are you talking about?  And where are you from?)

Post # 5
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

It sounds like they want you to visit, so I would go. Find out from your boyfriend what you should bring-a bottle on wine, some breakfast pastries,  flowers, etc.

Post # 8
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@goodasitgets:  Gifts are always nice and appreciated in the US, even if it might not be expected!  I think it depends on the family here in the US, but it certainly is a thoughtful tradition that has seemingly died out in recent generations. I say it wouldn’t hurt.  Get some nice flowers or something cheerful and enjoy their company.  That’s a big step to be taking with your SO…so congratulations!

ETA:  Lol, who says you are being judged!  Haha, I am the same way and feel like everyone is passing judgement on me all the time.  Just remember:  they want you there as a part of their family!  That is an honor and I am certain you will pass any “judgement” from them simply by being there and supporting them while grandma is sick  No worries. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 9
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

@goodasitgets:  I felt the same as you when Fiance and I first started to date.  I didn’t want him at my house because of all the family bullshit, but I was intimidated to go to his house every weekend.  It was nothing against his parents because they’ve been super nice since the beginning – it was just how I felt for whatever reason.  I got to know them a lot better and then was able to relax when I went over there.  FMIL even gave me a key to the house so I could just drop by whenever I wanted and let myself in if no one was home.  

Post # 10
Member
3720 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

If he wants you there, go. You will get to know the family better and it is a great sign that they want you there! What do you have to lose by putting it off?

And don’t bring anything. It is a difference in manners, not poor manners. My FI’s and ex-BF’s parents would consider it rude if I brought anything to their house. They would think they didn’t know how to provide. Now sometimes I am allowed to bring things, but my Fiance thinks it is rude for me to even offer.

Post # 11
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Bring flowers! They’re bright and happy.

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