(Closed) Advice on interviewing for new job, asking off for wedding AND maternity leave??

posted 9 years ago in Career
Post # 3
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

I’m not an HR person, but I can say that you shouldn’t give them any fuel to turn you down.  There are so many wonderful applicants vying for jobs right now, that I wouldn’t discuss *any* personal issues until the job is yours.

Anti-discrimination laws basically give you the right to hide this information .  They should not base their decision on your reproductive status or your marital status… so don’t give them an opportunity to.

Best of luck getting the job!

Post # 4
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Congrats on the interview!

I’m trying to do the math here, but I’m thinking that if you are due in January then you are not quite into your second trimester yet?  I don’t think you are required to tell anyone about your pregnancy until you are further along.  For the wedding, though, you are.  When depends a little on what type of job it is, but I think it’s generally acceptable to make it be part of your negotiation.  When you get an offer, let them know you need time off for your wedding.  Likely it’ll be leave without pay…but hopefully that’s alright with you.  Think of it this way, if they gave you a lowball offer, you’d counter with a higher one.  If they couldn’t pay you what you’d find acceptable, you’d walk away.  Your time off is just a different form of compensation…(It’s up to you to tell them whether this time off is for a wedding or whatever…)

By The Way, do your best to research family leave options for the places you’re applying.  I’ve always asked HR tons of questions after getting an offer (even when not planning pregnancy…it’s just good info to have).

Good luck with the job search!

Post # 5
1357 posts
Bumble bee

I agree with doctorgirl. Those laws are in place for a reason. This is the time for you to put your best foot forward and show them why they should hire you – not why they shouldn’t! Good luck!

Post # 6
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

Just wanted to make sure you saw this thread:

New Job

Post # 7
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Most jobs have their vacation time kick in after three months. Since you are getting married in October, you should be okay.

I would wait until you are offered the position and I’d talk to their HR person specifically about October and then have them go over their maternity leave policy. If it is a smaller company and no HR person, then the hiring manager will do. It is illegal to deny you a job because of pregnancy yet they may use that as a deciding factor between two excellent candidates (its not fair but it happens).

Post # 8
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2007

Hi there! I work in HR and coincidentally, in the Benefits dept. I would let them know when you accept the job (if you’re offered it) that you have your wedding coming up, and as a condition of the acceptance, you’ll need the time off for your wedding. Once that’s completed, you can take your time letting them know you’re pregnant. Most companies will have some type of Short Term Disability insurance (whether you pay for it or whether your company pays for it). You just want to be careful about your benefits if you’re picking them up with your new company. Make sure they don’t have a pre-existing condition clause. If they don’t, you should be set.

Should you go on short term disability, and you’re eligible at the time of your maternity leave, the average time off you receive is 6 weeks for a vaginal delivery, and 8 weeks for c-section for your OWN disability. Since you won’t be with the company for a year at the time, unfortunately, you won’t be eligible for Federal Family Medical Leave; however, you might be eligible for a state leave. I’m unsure as to what the laws are for the state of Alabama, but you can probably google FMLA in Alabama to find out. Unless they have some sort of maternity policy, you’ll be due back to work after your disability period is over.

I hope that’s helpful! If you have more questions, don’t hesitate to PM me! 

Post # 11
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I just want to jump on the bandwagon here – you absolutely should not mention the wedding or pregnancy until after an offer is made. It is completely irrelevant at this point since they are only hiring you based on your ability and skills that the job requires. You should definitely use the time off for the wedding as a negotiation tactic before officially accepting and after you start discuss maternity leave with HR. Good Luck!!

Post # 12
773 posts
Busy bee

Hey Konariley, we’re twins!  I am also 11 weeks pregnant and looking for a job.  Unfortunately, I am definitely getting rounder already, so I’m really nervous about interviewing.  I think it’s totally obvious that I’m pregnant!  I think I’m just going to focus on looking for a temporary job until after the baby is born, so that I can take as much maternity leave as I want.  

Post # 13
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Hey there!  I also work in HR; it’s a small department so I do everything (hirings, firings, benefits, etc…).  Also, we recently (last year) hired a woman who was six months pregnant at the time.  She was showing during her interview, but her credentials were awesome and she had such a great personality, we couldn’t pass her up.  She started working, completed about 2.5 months of training, and then went on a 3 month maternity leave.  Nobody here had any problems with it, and now she’s back at the office and doing great.

I agree with all the pps who said take your sweet time to tell them about the pregnancy.  According to law they can’t withhold the job or discriminate against you because of your condition.   If it is a small company, it might be harder to work around, but they can always hire a temp to cover your position while you are out for maternity leave.  Honestly, things like this come up all the time, so I wouldn’t worry too much about your boss or co-workers treating you differently after they find out about the pregnancy.  And if you do experience some kind of different treatment, bring it up with your boss or HR person immediately.  That’s what they’re there for!

Oh, and congrats!  What an exciting time for you!

Post # 15
3979 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Best wishes!! Definitely don’t tell them anything until you’ve been offered & accepted the job. Sure they can’t legally deny you work because you’re pregnant, but they’ll just find an excuse to not hire you. My previous employer wouldn’t hire smokers. It was an environmental company & if someone came in and had the faintest odor of smoke– they weren’t hired because they "lacked the experience".

Discrimination happens… it’s unfair!

In Canada its even worse… Here we get a year of paid maternity leave. I know a few women who didn’t work, got a job once they found out they were pregnant & then took their Maternity leave & never came back…. employers are scared of pregnancy! lol

I really hope you do secure this job! Congratulations on all these big changes that are happening in your life 🙂

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