(Closed) advice on living situation

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

Both parents have a right to there beliefs, but your boyfriend does not have a right to a free living situation. He has a choice

1) tell his parents you are living together and you are NOT getting married, but he pays his share

2) he moves out.

That is it. End of story. Good Luck!

Post # 4
Member
3126 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

@panda14: Would his parent’s be paying your parents for his share of the rent, or would he? If they are paying for his rent, they get to set whatever rules or stipulations they feel comfortable with.

 

Post # 4
Member
3126 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

double post.

Post # 6
Member
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Well, if he is over 18, then his parents have no say in the situation. I understand his hesitation about telling his parents, and this may sound a bit harsh and I sorry about it but he needs to grow a pair, he is acting like an adult living with you, he needs to act like an adult and tell his parents.

Post # 7
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

How old are you and your boyfriend? Seems to me that if he’s old enough to be living with his girlfriend, he’s old enough to be responsible to tell his parents about it and help foot the bill. Does he not have a job?

Post # 8
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

@panda14: What has been, is over. Its about the future. If he wants to stay there he needs to pay. Either him or his parents. You can no expect back pay.

I dont care if he is over 18, if his parents are paying for school then they still have a say.

Post # 9
Member
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Ok, update. I didn’t see that his parents are still supporting him, so therefore, if they get upset he’s living with you (which he should still tell them) and they refuse to pay if he stays, then maybe he should move out.

Post # 11
Member
3126 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

@panda14: I meant that my second post was a double post…

If you didn’t reach an agreement before he moved in about paying rent, I don’t think it is very wise to try and get money for the time he has already stayed with you. I would let rent fr the first half of the summer go and figure out what the two of you will do from here on out.

Since his parents are against you living together but he needs their help financially, you will have to approach this matter very delicately. I would suggest telling them that you respect their opinions and you haven’t rushed into this decision. You would like to live together because of x,y,z (cost, safety, etc). Your plans for the future are __________. If living together doesn’t work out, or the relationship ends for some unknown reason, you would handle it by____________. These are all things Fiance and I figured out before we rented an apartment together and although we did not need our parents blessings, it did help to ease their minds.

Post # 12
Member
3978 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Sounds like you’re being more mature about it than he is.

He either gets his parents approval + their money + their rules

Or he gets their disappointment + no money + freedom from their rules.

If he wants to stick with their rules he better be popping the question soon.

I don’t know whatreal advice you want. Sounds like he just needs to grow up and decide he wants.

Post # 13
Member
665 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

This is a hard situation because he is not financially idependent. If his parents are paying for anything, they have a say in his life, not completely but still a say. I agree with MissTatas, be very careful how he approaches his parents, find all the positive reasons why it would benefit everyone if you two live together. Good luck!

Post # 14
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@panda14: I guess I just don’t understand how he is broke and can’t help with your rent if he has a job and isn’t paying tuition – where is his money going? But I completely agree with what you said about lying to his parents.

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