- 6 years ago
- Wedding: January 2014
So my mother and I recently started looking at wedding venues and I found a venue i REALLY REALLY REALLY liked!! We decided that we were going to make a second appointment to go back and ask more questions and get more clarification. We also decided to be nice and invite my Fi’s mom so she can take a look.
So here is where the problem starts. I spoke to my future mother in law last night and all of the sudden she is telling me that she only wants kosher food at the wedding. So I tell her we can get her a kosher meal brought in, but that isnt good enough; she wants EVERYTHING to be kosher.
Here is a little background on my future mother in law. She is a conservative jew. She is kosher at home, but has told me that she is kosher at home because thats how she was raised. She does not eat kosher when we go out. Like at ALL.
My family is reform. But we are willing to make accomodations. I ended up calling my mother in law after my Fiance yelled at her on the phone that we are not doing a kosher wedding, because I wanted to understand her point of view. She told me that she thinks its disrespectful to the religion if we dont do a kosher wedding, since it is a jewish wedding, and she outright told me that she doesnt have a rational reasoning behind her thought, she just feels this way.
My Fiance told me that he thinks his mom is being ridiculous and that food shouldnt be important since she is not really kosher. He wants the whole reception to be completely not kosher, since it is our reception, and he feels it is ridiculous that she is even asking this, and that she completely manipulated his sister into having a kosher wedding at a temple.
I spoke to my parents, and they are completely accomodating to doing kosher STYLE, but not a completely kosher wedding, because it cost more and food would have to come from out of house, which defeats the purpose of even going to this venue. After some discussions with my future mother in law, she said she wouldnt be happy with kosher style, but would settle for it.
So what do i do? Fi’s mom wants completely kosher, Fiance wants nothing kosher, and my parents are willing to do kosher style? Do i accomodate this woman and give up food that I really enjoy? Do I let Fiance keep yelling at his mom about how ridiculous she is and potentially drive a wedge between us and his mom? I hate to say it, but she isnt paying for it, so i am a little shocked that she is making such a huge request that affects her son so much.
Has anyone else dealt with this? How have you handled it?