Advice on Moving with soon to be husband

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
10516 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Don’t go.

I say this as someone who has moved to two different states for/with her husband. Moving is something that needs to be a joint decision and both people should be 100% on board. 

It sounds like he is moving with or without you and doesn’t care about your happiness. Better to lose him than to sacrifice living near family, your mental health, and your job. No person is worth that.

Post # 3
Member
840 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2020

View original reply
melibel :  Why would you want to marry someone that doesn’t care about how you feel? This is a bad start to a marriage.

Post # 4
Member
1399 posts
Bumble bee

Why are you marrying someone who doesn’t seem to like you or care about your feelints?

Post # 5
Member
4010 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Didn’t you just post this yesterday? What happened to that thread? 

Post # 6
Member
5643 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

You say ‘soon to be husband’ but are you even engaged? In your last lost you refer to him as your boyfriend.

It sounds like this guy is moving and staying in the new city whether you are there or not so do not uproot your life for a guy like that.

Post # 7
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee

I’m in a similar situation as you. Started having some serious medical issues in the last six months and had to come back to my hometown (which is in a different state from where my bf lives) so my parents could help take care of me. Even as I get better, I still have depression and anxiety. My bf and I want to get engaged soon. I am really hoping he will be willing to try to find a job here and move here. He knows how I feel. I really hope that your guy understands you. Maybe try to continue to have these conversations and gently show him how much it means for you to be close to family. Wish you the very best.

Post # 8
Member
2851 posts
Sugar bee

I’m confused about why you’re double posting this. Regardless, you said in your other thread you’re extremely close to your family (you’d be moving 6 hours away), you’re the bread winner in the relationship, and he only wants to move because his best friend lives there.

Unless you left something out, you haven’t given any good reasons TO move except “because he wants to / says so”.

Post # 9
Member
4055 posts
Honey bee

View original reply
melibel :  what advice are you looking for? I’m pretty sure you know what you need to do. 

Post # 10
Member
3823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Do not go. Leaving your good job and everything you love because he wants to go where his friend is is ridiculous. He’s prioritising his bff over you. The fact that he wants to do this despite how upset it makes you, and even flat out says he wouldn’t move back of you tried it and hated it is very concerning! I think he should be your ex not your future husband. If he and his bff want to be together so bad the bff can move to Dallas. 

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