(Closed) Advice on selecting bridesmaids

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

1) I think it’s crap that you have to include two people you wouldn’t otherwise. In your case, I would have 5. I know that’s probably easier said than done, but that’s how I feel about it.

2) Tell them your situation, and tell them what you’ve told us already. You care about them deeply, but weddings involve a lot of negotiating among family and to keep the peace you can’t do the bridal party how you would otherwise.

3) I think it would be fine to ask for help/advice from them on ideas. It might be too much to have them doing specific tasks unless they offer to help.

4) See #2

Post # 4
1652 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I think you should really pick the people who are close to you and who you want standing up for you, regardless of your family obligations.  It really isn’t a problem having a lot more BM’s than GM’s.  When my BFF got married she had 4 BM’s plus one junior Bridesmaid or Best Man, while her hubby had only one Groomsmen.

That said, if you do decide against having your friends as BM’s, you could try saying you are limiting the wedding party to family (except, with respect to your brother’s fiancee, this isn’t technically true) – their feelings may still be hurt, but maybe not.  And it would absolutely be okay to ask them for their opinions during the planning process – they are your friends, after all.  But if they were hoping you would ask them to stand up for you, and their feelings are a little hurt, you may not want to bombard them with wedding talk all the time…

Post # 5
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@elleish8705:  As for 3) Hang out on weddingbee. You’ll get tons of advice on colors and opinions on dresses and anything you could think of thats even vaguely wedding related. We love answering questions like that here :). But you can of course still talk with your friends about the wedding and ask for their advice, just make sure you’re spending as much time asking about their lives so they don’t think you’re wedding crazy.

Post # 6
5479 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

First, I’d wait until like 6 to 9 months away from your wedding before making anything official.  People change, relationships change, and weddings bring out the crazy in everyone.

Second, just have uneven sides.  It’s not the end of the world, and you’re right: you should be more concerned about feelings than photos.  Uneven sides will NOT make your marriage invalid, I promise 🙂

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