(Closed) Advice on severely overweight, unhealthy parent.

posted 6 years ago in Wellness
Post # 3
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@pokie45:  I understand how tough that is to watch, and you love her so you want to do something. The majority of my family is obese. I have seen my sister go from 200lb to 300lbs and then loose 50lbs and then gain it back plus some 🙁 I also have struggeled with my weight my entire life. And I know if my daughter or other person I loved sat me down and told me they were seriously concerned about my health, eating habbits, etc. that would be HUGE motivation for me to get healthy.

Have you had a serious conversation with her about her weight? I think you need to start with a supportive and personal conversation with her about it. Bring some facts with you and some recommendations on easy things she could start doing. come over and go on walks with her or invite her over for a healthy dinner, etc. Also hae you talked to your dad about it? if he is a healthy guy then I dont see how they could both be so different. he could support her and keep bad foods out of the house. 

Post # 4
Member
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

My mom had some really unhealthy habits, as did my dad, and they are both gone now 🙁 Getting married in three months without them. I so wish I could go back in time and tell my mom before it was too late. You need to dig deep down and express your feelings to her, and how much you want her around, and like the previous poster said you need to bring facts to the table. Bring statistics on healthy weight for her height, and what standard of obesity she ranks (likely morbid). Then, bring statistics about the general length of life of these individuals, etc. Is there any way you could start doing small things with her every day? Even just getting up and doing a standing march for 5-10 minutes, and building on to that along with cutting out sugar slowly, etc.

 

My biggest advice is don’t delay on this. It doesn’t feelt that serious until it’s too late 🙁

Post # 5
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I can relate. I don’t know that there’s really anything you can do that you haven’t already done. This topic upsets me so much that I can’t even talk about it without feeling sick and panicked and depressed. I’m sorry you’re going through this, too. Sending you a PM shortly …

Post # 6
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I can relate, as almost all of my family members are smokers. They are slowly ruining their health. There isn’t much one can do about it. People have to want to change themselves. The only people in my family who quit smoking are the ones with severe health issues.

No amount of badgering, talking, cajoling, pleading, logic, discussion, etc seems to help unless someone wants to make changes in their own life. How you get them to change is something I would love to figure out.

Until then, I just think of it as a disease, they will end their lives sooner. If it was anything genetic it would be just as sad.

Post # 7
Member
619 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@kerensa:  +1

My dad had a rare, deadly throat cancer last year, and he only just managed to survive it. He’s been a heavy smoker for 40 years, but the smoking didn’t cause the cancer, it was a viral strain.

Because his oncologist told him he would have gotten the cancer whether he smoked or not, he won’t quit. He says the smoking didn’t cause the cancer so he’s fine to continue. No matter how many times I (or my mum or our friends) say that smoking is still bad for him, he won’t stop.

As much as it sucks, all you can do is be supportive and hope they see the light on their own. You can’t make a loved one change, and you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves…

Post # 8
Member
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Denial is a powerful foe.

Do try and intervene, but it’s really important, for your own emotional health, to understand that you may not be successful, and tht it isn’t your fault. Your mom wants to believe she isn’t doing anything wrong. She may not be able to be pulled out of that.

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