Advice on telling parents FI and I are buying a house.

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 31
635 posts
Busy bee

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kmmq72 :  What you’re saying isn’t at all how the mortgage process goes.  A down payment is made at closing not upfront.  The bank orders the appraisal not you and it wouldn’t be completed before being under contract. A final inspection is for required repairs listed on the appraisal and isn’t the same thing as a home inspection.  You appear woefully uninformed about the homebuying process so your parents apprehension appears to be founded.  

Post # 33
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Even with your FSBO status and your Future Mother-In-Law handling closing, you will still have to go through Appraisal, Inspection, and Underwriting to be able to get the money loaned to you by the mortgage firm/Bank.

We also had a Pre-Approval in hand when we were shopping for our home, and then when we went under contract it was an entire different ballgame. I hope your homebuying process is as easy as you are expecting… but don’t be surprised if you are thrown a few curve balls… 

Post # 34
9100 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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kmmq72 :  Do you mean you gave then an earnest money deposit? Good luck with this. I hope it turns out how you hope it turns out, but as PPs have mentioned, what you’re describing isn’t how it works. I’m starting to think you’re parents might be trying to look out for you because based on this thread, you seem to jump into things (like, really really big things) without doing your homework first. 

ETA: I don’t know anything about your family. It’s not really fair for me to say maybe they’re looking out for you. It’s possible for you to jump into things AND for them to be toxic and intrusive. So please disregard what I said about that, but I do encourage you to look into the home buying process some more.

Post # 35
3825 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Let’s all stop assuming the OP is incompetent and naive, shall we? We don’t even know where she lives to know what the rules are there. Kind of funny that the issue was her parents pushing their opinions, and now everyone is doing that. It’s between the OP and her fiance, not us and not her parents. OP you don’t have to tell anyone anything until you’re ready. Your parents will get over it eventually.

Post # 36
3268 posts
Sugar bee

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nonablu :  Except the issue is her parents pushing opinions when they weren’t asked for. OP asked for opinions by opening this thread. Naturally, over the course of time and more information being given, the opinions of Bees can evolve and expand. 


OP, just do your due diligence so your parents can’t say “I told you so.” If you trust your Future Mother-In-Law, far be it from anyone else to guide you along. Congratulations on the house, glad it’s working out for you! Great Christmas present to yourselves, for sure!

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