Post # 1
Ok here’s the situation. I think I have tentatively decided to wait, but would really love your feedback, stories, or advice: I am 8w1d pregnant in a job where I travel quite a bit. My doctor okayed me to travel until 32 weeks, unless there are complications down the road. That would put me at mid-June.
I had originally planned to tell my boss I was pregnant after my first appointment (yesterday) so we would have ample time to ensure that replacements are available to take my travel and to train the staff carrying my load when I’m out.
Relationship with my boss: I am pretty close with my boss, we get along great and have very similar working styles. She is several years older than me, not in a relationship, and has no children. She has always been very receptive to any of my (limited) personal needs like being sick, deaths in the family, etc.
What concerns me: Raises and bonuses are being decided within the next two weeks – by Jan 20. I don’t want my pregnancy and planned maternity leave to affect the raise and bonus I receive, and I’m concerned that the perception would be that I may not warrant as big of a raise if I’ll be out on leave for 3 months out of this year (+ time I won’t be able to travel). As close as I am to my boss, at the end of the day, business is business. However, we also plan to discuss Q3 and Q4 travel in the next few weeks too, and I don’t want to make myself “available” for trips that I then need to find an alternate for when I break the news.
In your experience, what would you do? Has anything like this happened to you before, and do you think being pregnant negatively affected anyone’s perception of you at the workplace? I am leaning towards waiting until just after January 20 to tell her, but don’t want that to be perceived negatively either.
Post # 3
@kate02121: As a former senior-level manager who has had many of my employees become pregant and take maternity leave (some even left their jobs to become full-time, SAHMs), I think you are well within your rights as an employee to not share news of your pregnancy at this time or until you and your husband would be comfortable making this news public. Often that is not until after the pregnancy has reached the end of the first trimester.
If I were you, I absolutely would wait until after the raises and bonuses have been determined, UNLESS a detailed discussion of your Q3 and Q4 travel plans presents itself before that time. I personally think I would end up telling my boss the news if we were in the midst of a detailed discussion about which conferences I would be attending or which client events I would be supporting, because, often, there is significant long-lead time involved in making travel arrangements and or planning for conferences, meetings, client support, etc.
Post # 4
Based on information you provided, I would wait until after your first trimester. Most importantly (for you!), your well-deserved raise and bonuses will be taken care of by then. And even though potential travel and other commitments may be discussed in the coming weeks, actual planning and reservations usually aren’t done until closer to the actual event date. You can acknowledge future needs without making an official commitment.
Congrats and good luck!
Post # 5
@kate02121: I don’t have any personal experience with breaking the pregnancy news to work, because I’m a Stay-At-Home Wife, but when it came to sharing our pregnancy news, I waited until the beginning of my second trimester to start spreading the news. Even then we just shared the news with close friends & family. I didn’t make an official FB announcement (just a picture of me looking obviously pregnant at 22 weeks on vacation.) Unless you have some medical complications between now and 12/13 weeks I’d keep the news out of the workplace for sure. When the Q3,Q4 travel plans come up hopefully it’ll be after your first trimester, if it comes up before you are out of your first trimester I still don’t think you are obligated to tell your employer. You should be out of your first trimester by what, valentines day-ish? If thats when you choose to break the news to your employer that will still give them PLENTY of time (like 20+ weeks) to work on your replacement or have your travel covered from 32w-maternity leave. Good luck to you! This is such an exciting time!!!
Post # 6
I wouldn’t announce yet, but not because of the raises and bonus issue. I’d hold off simply because it’s early yet. It won’t look as though you were holding out for the raises, it will just rightly seen that you wanted to wait until it was safe- 2nd trimester at least. There shouldn’t be any hard feelings down the line for that. If it was later in the pregnancy, I’d be more conflicted. You will be out and unable to travel a great deal in the next year.
Post # 7
I would wait until at least the standard first trimester that many people choose to make it public. Personally, when I get pregnant, I don’t plan on telling until after 3 months for sure, probably 4-5 months as long as I can hide it physically. Business is busniess, and I wouldn’t want it to effect anything for me.
Post # 8
@kate02121: I agree with maggie, I would wait. Even if they discuss the travel plans for later this year, they probably won’t set things in stone right away (well, you know better than us so it’s just an assumption). They will still have plenty of time to make alternate arrangements once you do tell them, and I think it is a very valid excuse to want to wait until 2nd tri before telling anyone.
Where I work there isn’t a lot of travel, but we all have very specific projects so when one person is away for an extended period of time the work has to be redistributed to someone else with some training so the cover person knows what to do. when big projects have to be redistributed due to mat leave, it has never been an issue in the past. I work with like 90% women so there have been many instances of time off for weddings/honeymoons/pregnancy appts/babies etc and we always work around it. I personally have never minded covering other work because I know at some point it will be my turn to be off and have others cover me. Hopefully your co-workers are equally understanding 😉
Good luck for getting a great raise/bonus!
Post # 9
Thanks everyone for the great advice. I feel comfortable with the decision to wait, and am glad that you don’t think I was overreacting, or that it will be perceived poorly to wait until even the second trimester to share the fact that I’m pregnant.
I really appreciate it!