Post # 1
Hey ladies! I’m having a bit of an issue and could use some outside perspective. My husband and I have been married for 8 months now. We spent a large majority of our first 6 months apart due to work issues. I finally finished with my work obligations and moved two states, into my husband’s house, with his mother, father, and younger sister. I went from working 12+ hours to being at home all day every day.
I’m going insane.
We are looking for work in a few different states that we really like, but so far no nibbles. I’m trying not to make comments that can seem hurtful (like I can’t wait to have our own space) but at the same time, it’s how I feel. We were apart so long and now that we are together it still feels like we are waiting. I loved everything about where I lived. I was close enough to the mall and stores that I could have anything I needed or wanted within 15 minutes. Now I’m half an hour from the nearest stores, in a place where I don’t know anyone except my husband and his family. I’m lonely and sad and don’t know what to do.
I knew moving that I would be leaving behind everything and everyone I love to be with my husband. I just didn’t realize it would hurt this badly. How can I share how I feel without my husband getting defensive? How do I start all over in a new place? How do I make sure I don’t end up resenting him?
Thanks for your help! I appreciate it so much!
Post # 3
I would make sure that you and hubby take time to go out and explore together. Also maybe while your waiting to find a job you could do some volunteer work. that way you would get out of the house and meet some new people.
Post # 4
Wow that’s tough I am have a similar situation I moved from NYC to North Carolina to be with my fiance. I am still looking for work and don’t have any friends except for him. It’s tough but I know I will never resent him for it b/c it was my decision to move here. Before planning the wedding I was in a major funk b/c I was lonely and bored but now I am so busy planning the wedding that I don’t have time to be lonely. So my advice will be to hang in there. Your time to move out will come and you will be newlyweds all over again. Also you can tell your husband how you feel but me mindful not to make him feel like you left everything for him.
Post # 5
Do you have your own transportation? While you are career job hunting, maybe a small part-tiem job would help get you out of the house and meeting people. Also, volunteering for an organization (or more then one!) which does something you’re passioante about- animals, homeless, soup kitchen, domestic abuse, women’s issues, education, the environment, etc. would get you out of the house and meeting new people. Maybe your husband could join you so it’d be something you could bond over and both of you could meet new people. Alternatively, as werid as this sounds!, you could post ads looking for friends on places like craigslist. I have done that plenty in the past and I have life long friends as a result! If you feel werid doing that, maybe post an ad looking for a workout buddy, or start a book club, or knitting, or just look for people who do the things you like to do. Start offering to walk neighbor’s dogs (or your own if you have one!) and talk to people you meet. I did this when I was in Toronto visiting a friend and his dog helped me meet almost all his neighbors and a bunch of really nice strangers!
Also- maybe do a weddingbee meet-up in your town and meet some bees face-to-face! The people on wedding bee tend to be pretty top notch folks! 😀
Post # 6
I don’t think it’s a bad thing at all to want to talk to your husband about your living situation and not being happy. As your husband, he would want to know if you’re not happy. You don’t have to just come out and say it sucks living here but you can tell him what makes you unhappy and discuss it. First of all, it’s natural to want to begin your married life with your husband in a home of your own and not with his family. I’m sorry you’re sad!! I like some of the other suggestions! Volunteer, substitute teach, join a gym and do work out classes (great way to meet people!), if youre religous go to church and join a married couples group, meet some of his friends, have date nights, etc. Don’t give up hope!! The first thing is talking to your hubby!
*hugs* good luck!!
Post # 7
hugs I’m going to get married and move away from my family to. It will be hard but i know i will have a better life with my fI, and eventually start a family of my own.
Post # 8
You have to talk to him about this. Volunteering is a great way to get out there and meet new people. You need a girlfriend girl! Make sure she’s married though! lol!