Advice please

posted 2 weeks ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
200 posts
Helper bee

Paige1990 :  Are you asking if it’s normal to start fights about your partner leaving you? Your post is kind of confusing, maybe you should elaborate.

Post # 4
Member
5720 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

If anything it sounds like the rocky relationship plus an early and unplanned pregnancy was probably the reason it didn’t start off super warm with them. 

Post # 5
Member
200 posts
Helper bee

Paige1990 :  It’s hard to say what a “normal” reaction would be since this is a very complicated scenario. Having a child with someone after knowing them for 3 months sounds irresponsible to me (sorry, not trying to be mean, just honest) so if I was your boyfriends family I’d probably be a bit hesistant to accept you/the relationship as well, and I can understand why them not accepting you right away would make you feel insecure.

But, if things have gotten better and you’re feeling secure enough to have had another child and be discussing marriage, does it really matter if your reaction was “normal” or not?

Post # 7
Member
1219 posts
Bumble bee

Your post is very confusing…you refer to him as your husband but then say you want to eventually get married….are you guys married or not?

Post # 9
Member
8450 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Paige1990 :  

I too am not quite sure what you are asking. You say this post is not about a wedding, do you mean you are not interested in marriage ? I am assuming when you say ‘husband’ he is actually just a boyfriend with no apparent intention of being anything else? Sorry if all these assumptions are wrong, but your post is a bit short on specifics .

I think his parents my be disapproving of your being unmarried with two children in two years and whilst he is as much part of that as you, he is their son. Plus women are always judged more harshly in these scenarios . 

You sound insecure and rather anxious, and l feel sorry about that , but l do urge you to take more care regarding birth control for a start. As for the rest , perhaps you need to tell us more precisely what you want/ need/ fear.  

Post # 10
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2019

Sorry some people can be cold asses just like in laws. Sounds like you guys went through a lot in a short amount of time, and then pile on 2 pregnancies and hormones going wild before really getting to establish your relationship.

I’m assuming you are young also (early 20’s), forgive me if I’m wrong. It’s normal to have fears and anxiety about the situation, especially with such a rocky start. His family comes last, your relationship and babies are most important.

But since they are starting to warm up, be open and positive to the relationship as long as it is not stressing anyone. Never stop working on your relationship – maybe seek counseling if you guys fight whenever you bring up tough conversations. It’ll only help you figure out how to communicate better. Or even for yourself to help with the anxiety and becoming a family so quick.

Best wishes 

Post # 11
Member
1214 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2019 - USA

Perhaps his family is not warm because they don’t really know what your relationship is to each other. It’s confusing even for an outsider to understand the nature of this relationship, when it started off with a pregnancy, a rocky relationship, you call yourselves husband and wife but are not married? They are probably super confused and keep you at an arm’s length because they do not even know WTF is going on with you two, so they may not take you that seriously. Of course, maybe this is something that will just take time, but on the other hand, they probably have no idea what to expect out of this or how to treat you as family or just as his baby momma. 

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