(Closed) ADVICE please… age old single but with someone but not allowed to bring them

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
516 posts
Busy bee


I understand your frustration.  Especially if the rest of your friends will be present with spouses, it’s a bit aggravating to have to attend a wedding without your significant other.

I think that the reason most couples restrict +1s to engaged and married couples is because they have to draw a hard line to narrow down the guest list.  It’s not an affront to the validity of your relationship.

Also, engaged or married couples have made a public commitment to become family, and it would be much more awkward or offensive to make people attend without their spouse or spouse-to-be. 

With dating couples, it’s really difficult to make a case-by-case determination of whether they’re “serious” enough.  If you get to bring your girlfriend, then how can they say no to anyone else who wants to bring a girlfriend or boyfriend?

In actuality, I doubt that the couple getting married care to take the time to figure that out for every dating couple they know.

If you see your relationship moving towards marriage, I’m sure that any wedding you’re invited to after your engagement, your sig other will be included.

Have fun!


Post # 4
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

i think, if you are really offended, you should decline the invitation.  i allowed +1s for married or engaged only also.  some where offended, and declined the invite.  if you wont know anyone at the wedding, i understand your frustration.  if you will know lots of people at the wedding, i think you should let it go.

it may be cheap. and it may single people out.  i could invite x amount of people to our venue.  i wasnt going to cut actual friends and family off my list so everyone could bring a date.

Post # 5
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I understand feeling hurt and judged that you weren’t invited to bring a guest. I didn’t want to make those judgements myself when planning my wedding– which is why we allowed everyone to bring a guest.

Unfortunately, I don’t think there’s much you can do about it–other than RSVP “no” if you feel strongly enough about the situation. I wouldn’t bring it up to the bride and groom– it’s their wedding and that’s how they have chosen to determine their guest list, even if you would have done so differently.


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