Advice please I am about to give up!

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I think you said it- “he hasn’t stood up for me the way he should have”. Why are you planning to marry him? This is NOT going to get better, as the problem is not really his mother- it’s his response to the situation.

Post # 3
Member
6087 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

Your SO sounds like a little bitch. His mother sounds like a mega bitch. Send him home to her so they can be together forever and find yourself a grown man.

Seriously- dump him. Life is too short to be with a man who listens to his mother question whether or not you should have children and then is stupid enough to repeat such mean words to you. That on top of all of the other things you listed… nope nope nope nope nope.

Send this skidmark back to his mother!

Post # 4
Member
367 posts
Helper bee

I can’t believe your fi is letting you be treated this way. He should have your back and tell his family that it’s absolutely unacceptable to disrespect you like that. I’m angry you’ve been treated so poorly. That’s no way to treat ANYONE. I wouldn’t marry into that family. There’s just no way. 

Post # 5
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

If he is not willing to stand by your side now, it will get worse later down the road. Sit down with him and have an honest, open conversation about how you feel and what you need. He needs to be the one to stand up to them, and tell them that they need to lay off. Have him explain, or ask nicely, or be rude, but his delivery of the message should be up to him; he will know how best to talk to them.

My mother always told me, never say something rude to the potential in laws, and never speak rude of them in public; their son can say anything because he’s their son and allowed to, but being an outsider takes away your ability to say much without being seen as a b**** or arrogant.

Post # 6
Member
3334 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I would probably leave him TBH. I know you’re in a tough situation while not working and whatnot, but this is NOT a life you want to live! Your own fiance not standing up to these people for you? Letting them walk all over you? Letting them talk shit about you TO YOUR FACE?! Girl, that’s a no. Hard stop. Do not put up with that bullshit!

I would stop wedding planning, and start planning your getaway. Can you stay with your mom a bit while you get your feet back on the ground?

Post # 8
Member
209 posts
Helper bee

Consider it a blessing that you haven’t married him yet.  He’s giving you every reason to dump him and you should listen to him. Run far away from him and the monster-in-law.

Post # 9
Member
3459 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

Get out while you still can. There is no way Fiance would let anyone in his family disrespect me, including his mother. If he has let this go on and not attempted to defend you even once it will NOT get better once you’re married. He seems to find this behavior acceptable which is dead wrong. You have two problems, your SO and his family. If he was actually behind you and making it clear that you aren’t to be treated in this manner thats one thing but he isn’t. This is some bs I would not put up with. Ever!

Post # 10
Member
1581 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017 - Ocean front

That sounds horrible…..he should stand up for you 100% you have no support in this family or with him. My  opinion would be like the others, leave and be lucky that you did before you had to deal with a divorce as it is not going to get any better by the sounds of what you have shared. 

I’m so sorry Bee :+( 

Post # 11
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee

Unfortunately, I agree with the PPs. If he has nothing to say to defend you, this is not someone you should be spending the rest of your life with. It’s not his fault if his family doesn’t like you, but it certainly is if he lets them be cruel in front of him and does nothing about it. I’m sorry, Bee. 🙁 

Post # 12
Member
4864 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

This is not a family you should marry into. Literally leave immediately and never look back.

Post # 13
Member
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

A guy that doesn’t stand up for you in a relationship and bends to his mothers will, is not a suitable husband it won’t get better. Your husband should put you first, or atleast not let you be disrespected that way. Your not just marrying him your marrying into that family… 

Post # 14
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I’m sorry lady. The main issue I see here is that your man doesn’t stand up for you and allows his vile family to abuse you. I don’t see how this relationship can survive when the two of you are not a team – it’s you alone against him and these horrible people. 

Post # 15
Member
3334 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

star998 :  that’s great! Apologies if I missed that in your op. Maybe you can find a rental for dec1? 

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