Advice please I am about to give up!

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 16
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

do NOT make the mistake of marrying this man. Unfortunately, as harsh as it sounds, nothing will change, and if anything – it will get worse!

I got stuck in a relationship like one you describe. It makes no difference how much they “love” you, the great times you share together or what you’ve built together if he can’t stand up, be a man and protect you from his inconsiderate mother. 

I can tell you now…I used to blame everything I used to cop at her hands on her…until I moved out and realised that he wasn’t sticking up for me, and that’s what was really the issue. I addressed it to him on several occassions with all of them ending up in major arguements. In the end, I up and left…

It was the BEST decision I have ever made in my life… 🙂 

Bee, head up – your crown is falling… xx

Post # 17
Member
2583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

My advice is to give up here. And that is usually never my advice. I think this is a toxic relationship with your SO and his family and thus with your soon to be in-laws. I’m actually surprised he made the decision to ask you to marry him based off his opinion of you (based on his mother’s opinion). I’m sorry you’re going through this, but please look at other posts about how terrible having this kind of Mother-In-Law is and you will run out of that home before you can close the door. 

Post # 18
Member
4670 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

The problem isn’t your fiances mother, it’s HIM. why would you give up everything for a man and be held hostage now, relying on your mother to support you on one end and begging for your fiances support?

Get on your own 2 feet and move out. Get away from him and his family, move back home with your mother if you must. See if he will give up everything to keep you in his life. I bet that he won’t. 

Post # 19
Member
2258 posts
Buzzing bee

Don’t marry him. You’ll just divorce him later, so why bother?

Save your time, your money, your sanity — end the relationship and get away from that “man” and that pack of jackals he calls his family.  

You wouldn’t be “giving up”, either; you’d be making a prudent decision.

Post # 20
Member
76 posts
Worker bee

Luvvie I’ve been here, I married the guy that didn’t stick up for me to his mother, and you know what happened? I have a 4and a half year old gorgeous boy, that I bring up on my own, I have an absolutely beautiful boyfriend who I’d love to marry, who treats me like his queen, you know what else I have? 8 grands worth of debts in my name, an IVA to deal with those debts that I’ve got for the next 6 years, meaning I can’t get credit to buy a house with my partner for the next probably 10years, I’ve got no friends because they all believe his lies, and guess what…..we are still married because he won’t sign the divorce papers!!! it may seem hard right now, but take it from me it will only get worse after you matried and then your stuck with him! I could’ve written this post myself 7 years ago and my life is still suffering for it, don’t become like me where your stuck in limbo, have the courage I didn’t have to say no, I am worth more than this, it may be hard now, but it’s even harder when your married with a kid, you can do better! 

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