(Closed) Advice Please.. **LONG**

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Honesty is the best policy. I’d say to her what you said here, that you love him and you’re not going anywhere and that the two of you can either get along and make things easy for both families, or you can fight and have your differences and put a huge wedge in between everyone. She needs to grow up and realize she’s not in control of everything.

Post # 4
Member
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Wow, that sounds terrible. I am really sorry to hear that you are going through this. I really can’t give much advice as I am not experiencing and don’t know anyone who has experienced the “wretched MIL”. What I do know is many mother’s are overly protective of their sons and will probably be overbearing on the FDIL. 

If you have already “practically been kissing her a**”, it sounds like she is set in her ways and usually this is the case for older people. Has your FH spoken to her about her about how she treats you? Surely he noticed?

Post # 6
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Move out… ASAP.  His parents are adults.. they’ll figure out something.  That’s not your OR his problem.  I don’t see this situation getting any better for either of you if you continue to stay.

Post # 7
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@MsFoxxy: Agreed, it’s just going to get worse.  But give notice, don’t run out in the next 24 hours.  Give them a month, at least.

Post # 8
Member
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@KristaBaybay: I honestly think it is of necessity that you move out asap. It is clear that she does not respect you. Your Fiance needs to realize that you are soon to be his wife and the two of you are going to form your own family unit. I agree with the PP’s, it is going to get worse. It’s seems like she wants to be your FI’s top priority and once the two of you are married, she is going to feel even more threatened and possibly be more demanding on you just to make it hard on you and push you to the edge. 

If their financial well-being is of great concern to your Fiance, he can still support them after you guys move out. That doesn’t require living with them. 

Post # 9
Member
7385 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@KristaBaybay: Well if he wants a life with you, then he’s gonna have to choose btw his WIFE and his parents. Sorry, its not his responsiblity to help them financially to the detriment of his life with you. Hitting you with a newspaper, wow sweetie you have more patience that i ever could. Its either you guys move out together, or you have to go, I would never tolerate being disrespected like that. Ever.

Post # 10
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

You need to move out asap. I understand that you don’t want to make your Fiance choose between his family and you but you need to tell him that you are ok living with his family if they all treat you well but that you will not put up with being treated like shit. Why would you even sit down and let her chew you out? If someone said that to me I would have just ignored them and done whatever I wanted. You need to mmake sure that you Future Mother-In-Law understand that you are not going anywhere and that she can either get along with you or keep fighting until her son moves out of the house. But when you and you Fiance almost broke up and you left the house what that shows her is that she could break up so now she may try even harder to do that so its really important that you and your Fiance show a united front. 

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