(Closed) Advice Please! My friend will hardly speak to me….

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Oh I’m sorry this is happening to you. I had a guy friend (which is even weirder) do that to me too. He kept telling me he couldn’t wait for the wedding, but when I didn’t get an RSVP yes or no, I started calling him, emailing him, IM’ing him, texting…to no reply at all from him. So I let it go. I know I did nothing wrong, and I am assuming you did nothing wrong, so just give her space, let it go and if she doesn’t want to be there for you, it’s her loss.

Post # 4
Member
46600 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You may be right. Let her know that you are missing her but don’t say anyhting about the engagement of the possible jealousy.

Give her time to come around.

Until then include her in any plans as you normally would.

Post # 6
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

 I would maybe write a letter and let her know how it is important that she is involved in this part of your life. If she doesnt respond then let her go and move on. This is your day and dont let her ruin it for you. I have a friend who still hasnt said congrats to me & my fiance and we have been engaged almost 5 months.

Post # 7
Member
798 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Awww, i think it totally is jealousy over your engagement, but i don’t think its coming from a horrible-friendship-ending-place.  Like previous people said, give her some time to deal with what she’s dealing with and hopefully she’ll come around….

 

Post # 9
Member
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Do  you both have mutual friends where you would be at the same outing and could see her face to face?  This strikes me as something you need to see her person to person, to really deduce whats up with this situation.

Post # 10
Member
1509 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m so sorry you are going through this.  Honestly, this kind of shows what type of person she is.  So she has been with her boyfriend for years and years, that isn’t your fault that he hasn’t proposed.  She should put her sadness aside and be happy for you.

My Maid/Matron of Honor has been with her boyfriend for TEN years.  Yes, she breaks down occasionally crying and asking me when she thinks he will propose, but she was so happy for me and did such a wonderful job planning my bachelorette party, helping me on my wedding day, etc.

It gets down to character.  If this girl cannot support you and be happy for you, she isn’t truly your friend.

Post # 11
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

You’ve been trying to get in touch with her this whole time? Gosh. I mean, you can try reaching out to her and ask if everything’s okay (without mentioning what you THINK is wrong) but honestly she is in the wrong here and should come forward and apologize to you. I had a friend do this to me and just acted like she wasn’t doing anything and ignored it, eventually she came around and acted normal again. No real apology, but I could just tell she felt bad for her actions.

A lot of people tend to get jealous, esp those in your friends situation so I would expect this to some extent. Good luck and hopefully she comes around!

Post # 14
Member
1509 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@MsJ26: In regards to your second dilemma, you don’t need to ask girls to be in your bridal party immediately.  Also, it is so important that you choose girls who will be happy for you and support you.  I was once in a wedding where the Maid/Matron of Honor tried to turn all of the bridesmaids against the bride because she was jealous the bride was having a nicer wedding than she had.  It was so sad.  The bride has never forgotten it and even though they remain aqaintances, it really put a damper on the day. 

Put their needs and wishes aside and remember, it is your wedding.  You are going to have SO MUCH STRESS just planning.  This kind of problem is not something that you should have to deal with in addition to everything else.

Post # 16
Member
1267 posts
Bumble bee

Oh, I’m so sorry that this is happening to you!  I really hope that jealousy isn’t the cause – that’s just so sad!  I don’t understand girls getting upset when they are in a long term loving relationship just because another friend gets engaged!  It annoys me so much I just want to say ‘you have a great guy that loves you – who cares if you have the piece of paper?  Lots of women/men don’t even have a partner! Grr’ lol.  Especially when she knows he doesn’t want to get married – talk about a dealbreaker issue!

Listen, if being jealous and petty is more important to her than supporting you than I say feel bad for her, tuck it away in your mind and heart and move on with all of your happy planning.  Sometimes with friendships or any relationship the best times are in the past.  It sounds like thats what this is – so sorry! 🙁  At least you know that your other friend that’s been by your side is a true friend!

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