(Closed) Advice please!! Should I move in????

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Did you go with your gut instinct on the first two situations??

Post # 4
Member
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@NJstateofmind: Are you really only worried about doing the “politically correct” thing or are your personal values/beliefs against moving in before marriage? I think that’s the important thing here.

If it’s only abiding by society’s standards, moving in shouldn’t be a problem. If you feel that it’s against your personal values, you should stand up for yourself and your new guy should respect your boundaries. And if you’re worried about the length of time – I don’t think there is a “right time” to do such things. If you feel comfortable with it, go ahead.

Post # 5
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think no, when you have a child you cannot just move in with someone after four months. From the way you desribe your prior relationships I think its best you move slowly and not get carried away, and try to inject some objectivity and reason into the equation rather then just love and gut feeling.

Post # 6
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I cohabitate with my Fiance, and we lived together for a chunk of when we were dating, too. Part of it was a logistics problem – with our schedules, we wouldn’t have seen eachother otherwise.

For me, the sticky part here is actually the presence of a third person. I don’t mean to sound judgy, especially since I don’t have kids.. but if I had a child full time, I would feel more strongly about the commitment (at least a ring and wedding plans) before moving the living situation. It doesn’t matter if it happens in 4 months or 4 years, that’s your business how you feel and how the relationship is going..

That is, if you want to work toward marriage. If you don’t feel that marriage is required (I do have a friend who’s lived with her partner for years and had children with him, they just don’t feel marriage is important, which is totally fine), then I would at least have a very serious domestic partnership talk.

Post # 7
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Sorry but, you don’t exactly have the best track record. I’m sure that you believe that “you know better now,” but statistically, your chances aren’t very good. Moving in so soon will only complicate things, and cloud your current “love euphoria” even more, making it even *more* difficult for you to properly discern if this is a good relationship. I would strongly encourage you to read a book like “How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk.”  (and if your response to that suggestion is, “of course he’s not a jerk! How dare you suggest that!” Then I challenge you further… ok, read the book if you believe you have nothing to fear…)

Post # 8
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

With a child, no I wouldn’t advise this.

Post # 12
Member
1075 posts
Bumble bee

Is there a reason why you would be moving in with him? I think for your child it would be less of a big change if he moved in with you. I would also wait a little longer, if it feels right it will feel right later too.

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