(Closed) Advice please…budget wedding an more…

posted 10 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I would have a civil marriage (secret or not) and go ahead with plans for the big celebration in 2010.

Post # 4
Member
1091 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Oakland Manor

wow, I’m sorry for your situation!  My future husband is british and I’m american, so I can understand your pain. We’re currently residing in the US (with him on the visa waiver for 90 days for the 2nd time this year).  We considered going the get married now in the courthouse, and answer USCIS later.  But, that isn’t really the wedding I imagined either.

So, even though it’s costing us a TON of money to go the true I 129 F, K-1, legal route we decided to get our paperwork first then get married.  We did this for many reasons, but we didn’t want the hassle that our friends went through (though he is argentinian and she is american, so it could be different). 

It may be MUCH more of a hassle, but I’d go the "wait and do it fully legally" route, because this will make things much easier for you in the future.  I imagine that US marriages are recogmized by spain and vice versa, but I’d check the costs for visas etc in each country and cost out which country you should get married in.  Ex. if US visas are cheaper  (approx $455)  or if Spain’s fiance visas are less and then I’m assuming you’ve both decided to live in Spain, so add Spain’s perm resident/legal alien cost in. Then decide which country to get the papers and get married in. 

Plus you need to think about who will attend and who is most important to you to attend. We decided to get married in the US because of the exchange rate, the size of my family, and my ailing grandparents.

As for a budget wedding, I probably have about a million and a half ideas on how to have one, feel free to message me if you need any ideas

good luck!  

Post # 5
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Let’s assume everything is ok. Let’s assume you are legal in Spain. If you want a budget wedding- since you have lived there for 4+ yrs why not just have a simple ceremony now? You have friends in Spain too right? I don’t know where you live in Spain- but there are so many lovely things you can do for a budget wedding… I have been to Cordoba, Valencia, Alicante, Granada, Segovia, Sevilla and Madrid. All of which I can picture a simple yet fun gathering. I think you just need to be creative. See if your friends can come out for a spring wedding- get a sun/summer dress, find a nice place to host thirty or so people. And when you come back to the states when you are financially more stable, have a ceremony including your extended fam/friends who were unable to come the first time around. It is just a thought without knowing what other circumstances you have to deal with.

Post # 6
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2009

My fiance is British and we are nearing the end of the application process (which, by the time it’s done, we expect to cost upwards of $1500 for government fees alone, not to mention plane tickets, etc.). We are having a legal ceremony for immigration reasons in January and a semi-budget wedding in upstate NY this summer.

We made the decision to move to the US from China, where we both lived previously, based on employment prospects for both of us. I work for a non-profit and it appeared when we were looking into jobs that it would be much harder for me to find anything in the UK than in my home country, but not as difficult for him to find something here.

Based on personal experience, I would not be secretive about your legal wedding, if you end up having one. We have been very straightforward about the reasons for the legal ceremony with everyone who will be attending what we will consider our ‘real’ wedding in July. My guess is that if I did not tell my friends and family, and they found out later on, they would be quite hurt and upset. This is complicated by the fact that we will have to apply for a ton of changes in health insurance and benefits in the 30 days immediately following the legal wedding, which will notify the business manager in my office and by default most of my colleagues–there are only 11 of them!

Everyone I know and have talked to about our situation has been completely understanding of what we plan to do. It is obviously not the situation that most people dream about, but it is what works for us. If having a legal wedding to obtain legal status in Spain and having another ceremony later on works for you, then by all means do it. My personal feeling is that if you have a ceremony with your friends and family there, it makes it no less ‘real’ than a ceremony where you sign the papers because the government requires you to do so.

I hope everything works out for you and wish you the best of luck!

Post # 7
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

Hey Girls!  I am sorry about your situation.  I was helping my sister out with her wedding planning for next year, and she is also tight for money and looking to save money where she can.  I found this website called http://www.eventvalues.com and we filled out the form and within a couple of weeks we received some pretty good deals on banquet halls.  Check it out and maybe it will help you too. Good luck to all of you !!! 

Post # 9
Member
1091 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Oakland Manor

Haha, no, but but a small world it would be!  Chelsea and Nico

Post # 10
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2009

The first thing you ought to do is consult a lawer. Immigration is a tricky, nasty process sometimes, and if you’ve been in the country illegally and leave, it might be very difficult for you to get back in, for instance.

 

This actually happened to relatives of mine. They ended up going with a private civil ceremony followed by a church wedding later, when they had had some time to save up and plan a wedding.

Post # 12
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

Just wondering how budget is budget? Some people consider $10K budget, some people think more along the lines of $2K. My wedding is going to end up costing roughly $2500, rings and honeymoon included. Quick adivce:

Invitations — Simple simple simple DIY invitations. Nice quality paper, your computer’s printer, all text with maybe a nice logo. Boom, you’re done. Maybe $100 with the price of toner used. US Craft stores and even Wal-Mart or Target now sell DIY box sets that are attractive and affordable.

Dress — find something simple & easy — maybe a white or ivory evening gown or bridesmaid dress? This is difficult, as it so much depends on personal taste, but if you don’t have to have the poofy Cinderella look, you can get by on much less.

Flowers — if you have anyone in your family or friends who is talented at flower arranging, either buy fresh in bulk and have them do that, or buy silk (wait for the 50-70% off sales) and ask them to do that as their wedding gift.

Food — this is obvious, but hor d’ouerves over dinner. Cake and punch is also completely acceptable if you’re ok with that!

All in all, just think about what you simply can’t live without for your wedding.. and dump everything else. 🙂

 

Post # 14
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

Caitlin — probably 150 guests, and it’s an afternoon hor d’ouerves reception at our church’s hall. Since we are members, we are getting use of the church and the hall for a deposit which we’ll receive back after the wedding. Obviously, this is one of our biggest savings and not as easily replicated. Hope this helps.

Post # 15
Member
7081 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

Though it may not be ideal, I have plenty of friends who have done the quickie civil ceremony to get the papers sorted out and then the "real" wedding later.

I think the question you have to ask yourself is this: Will I be happy knowing that I had a tiny, inexpensive ceremony with fewer people and limited food, flowers, etc. just to know that we did it the expected way.

If you are completely happy with remembering your celebration as a simple, budget affair (which can also be exceedingly beautiful and meaningful) then I say go for it.

Second question: Are you two mentally prepared to make the changes in your life to be all the way married now.  The option of doing a civil ceremony now and waiting for the real deal later gives you some extra mental prep time if you need it.  Now, frankly, I don’t see much of a distinction.  For all intents and purposes you’d be married… but friends who have done it this way tell me that they felt something change after the big celebration with friends and family.  I would leave it to them to tell you more about the psychology of that.

All in all, only you can decide… but I think you do have a ton to think about.  You’ll see what feels right for you.

I wish you the best!

The topic ‘Advice please…budget wedding an more…’ is closed to new replies.

(Closed) Advice please…budget wedding an more…

posted 10 years ago in Money
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