- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
Ok this is a bit of a different situation then the ones I’ve read about. This will be a little long, please bear with me.
My partners friend, who is one of the groomsmen in the wedding (who is a disrespectful person but that’s a seperate issue), has a live in Girlfriend who I do not get along with.
She and I have had problems for a very long time (known her for years). It got to a point where I would avoid attending events she was at (and especially events she was hosting) because it just felt so hostile.
I have been trying for months to smooth things out as my partner wanted her to attend the wedding (because she is dating his friend), without much sucess (eg arrived at a group dinner, spare seat next to her so I sat there thinking we could chat and be civil, so she switched seats etc).
I had thought things had _finally_ started to improve when this occured (the other night).
I’m out at the pub the other night to dinner with friends. I’m in the middle of my dinner when the girl came over and asked to speak with me (first confusing point is what is she doing there, she lives on the other side of town).
So I leave my friends and my half eaten dinner to go outside to talk to her (takes me into the smoking area >< I’m asthmatic and a few of our issues stem from her and her partners inconsiderate behaviour regarding smoking when at my house).
few bits of useful related info:
she hasn’t lived at home in about a year
YEARS ago I went to a few of her parties, they where wine and cheese nights, my partner didn’t have a lisence at the time so I would drive, and he would drink. I can’t eat cheese (lactose intollerant) and the party would involve sitting watching something REALLY boring on TV while people ate cheese and drank wine. I only stayed as late as I did at these events because my partner wanted to, after the 2nd one of these I just stopped going to her parties because they were really boring and I would just drop him off and pick him up.
bits in brackets are not part of the conversation, bit more like what I was thinking at the time.
Her: hey, so um, I’m having my birthday next week
Me: *confused* ok… (didn’t know anything about it, really don’t care).
Her: so I was talking to my mum, and she was saying you haven’t been happy at my previous parties, and I’m inviting [my partner] but I don’t want you to go. *she looks scared that I’m going to yell at her*
Me: *still confused* ok then… If that’s what you want, I wont go to your party (not that I would have if I was invited ANYWAY).
She then left the pub (seriously only came to the pub to tell me not to come to a party I wasn’t even invited to o.0)
I have _never_ assumed just because my partner is invited to something that I am, I always get him to check if it’s OK if I come along if I wasn’t contacted directly (FB txt whatever). She on the other hand ALWAYS assumes and just tags along with her partner (even when the boys go out for a boys night she tags along!), even recently had a fitting for the groomsmen suits, I invited ONLY the bridal party and she came along anyway -.-
Now my thought after this incident was to contact her and let her know that, hey glad this is out in the open and we are both willing to admit not liking the other and not wanting the other around for our special occasions, so I am not going to invite her to my wedding because seriously I would prefer if she didn’t attend and I have other friends I would rather invite instead since the venue has strict number limits.
I think this would upset her partner though, and through that upset my partner (her partner is not only my partners friend but his superior at work – akward). Also the other mutural friends (which is pretty much my partners entire social circle, and 60% of the bridal party) would probably see it as very rude if I didn’t invite her.
I don’t know what to do. Any advice? This is really stressing me out. I’ve got enough wedding stuff to stress about without dealing with this.