(Closed) Advice Required – Groomsmens Live in GF

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Should she be invited
    Invite Her : (70 votes)
    51 %
    Ceremony Only - Don't Waste the $$ on her for the reception : (1 votes)
    1 %
    Put her on the "undesirable" table, near the toilets, with the creapy uncle! : (22 votes)
    16 %
    Don't Invite Her _at all_ : (43 votes)
    32 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    46404 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    This is only stressing you out because you choose to let it.

    She is the live- in girlfriend of a groomsman. You don`t really have any other choice but to invite her.

    Hopefully for both your sakes, she might choose not to attend.

    If she does, I hope you can be gracious and just keep your distance.

    Post # 4
    Member
    744 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I’m so sorry that you’re going through this however etiquette states that you *shouldn’t* break up a social unit. Since they are in a serious relationship, if her partner is invited, she should be invited too.

     

    Like PP said, maybe she will just choose not to attend on her own since she is well aware that the relationship between you two is strained as is.

     

    If she does choose to attend I highly doubt that you will even care, you will have so many other guests there who love and support you, she won’t even be a blip on your radar. You’ll be too busy enjoying your wedding!

    Post # 5
    Member
    2697 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Normally I would say invite her, but here, I’d just say fuck it. Or I would pull the same thing on her. “So my wedding is coming up. And I really want Groomsmen to come, but you don’t seem happy around me, so I don’t want you there.”

    Post # 6
    Member
    8435 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Hojestly I think it all one big misunderstanding. It seems that she feels slighted because of your actions (not attending her parties but dropping your partner off and icking up- that is pretty rude) and you by her actions after you “slighted” her.

    I give her props for coming to you and letting you know rather than being passive agressive. She may have been attempting to give you the opportunity to clear the air.

    Honeslty I would call this girl and go out and have a coffee and talk things through. Admit that you feel she might be slighted by your actions and explain the reasons behind them.

    If at the end of that you two still dislike each other- you don’t have to be friends with her but you can agree to be civil since she is important to your partners good friend.

    And I agree with your circle- you will appear like the b8tch is you do not invite her to the wedding.

    Post # 7
    Member
    502 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    It’s your wedding, and if you don’t want her there then you should do the same thing she did. Obviously Groomsmen is invited because we want him there, but I would prefer if you not come. I would then only have his name on the invitation.

    Post # 10
    Member
    384 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2004

    no where does it say you MUST invite people you dont want there. its your wedding invite only the people who you and Fiance love, and that love you both in return

    Post # 11
    Member
    3220 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I suggest you just stop interacting with her at all. I’d never be going to these parties or inviting these people to my place.  If your partner wants to hang out with them, he can do so elsewhere.  I’d be cordial to the girl if I ever did see her, because you’d only be stooping to her level if you turn it in her face, and because nice people always win these sorts of things in the end.  Really, I’d just try not to see her at all and hope that my partner would do the same.

    it’s commonly accepted that if you’re giving other people plus-1’s for long-term partners, you don’t make an exception for people you don’t like.   You could get around this by saying “we’re not giving anyone a plus-1 who isn’t engaged or married.”  Since your wedding is over a year away, you could distance yourself enough from the couple so that you didn’t have to invite her– though you also run the risk of them getting engaged and then you’re back in an etiquette pickle.  I’d just invite her and ignore her.

    Post # 12
    Member
    384 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2004

    @bookworm88:  i hope the second paragraph was not directed at me before it was edited

    Post # 13
    Member
    3220 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    @Steph18:  no, sorry! I just edited to fix it– because I originally thought you were asking a question, and I thought you were the OP.  obviously I’ve stayed up too late to be writing responses on these boards!

    Post # 14
    Member
    384 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2004

    @bookworm88:  no worries. Im a firm believer in that the onle “rules” in a wedding are the legal bits.  etiquette is a suggestion and optional

    Post # 16
    Member
    22 posts
    Newbee

    I think by not inviting you to her party, she gave you a pass to not invite her. Plus, you really don’t need someone like that at your wedding stressing you out. (I voted don’t invite her at all.)

    The topic ‘Advice Required – Groomsmens Live in GF’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors