Post # 1
Member
39 posts
Newbee
Hi!
My fiance and I are legally getting married in a court house in October with just our parents and siblings present. We are getting married in a symbolic ceremony just the two of us in Mexico exactly one month later. My family lives in Ohio, his in Texas and California, and we live in Louisiana! My mom is hosting a post-wedding reception (as in she’s already paid the deposit) in Ohio a couple weeks after we return from Mexico. What is the best way to let people know we are essentially “eloping” and want to celebrate with everyone afterword? I don’t want to use the word elope because (imo) the word indicates that we are getting married without our parents’ approval – which is not the case. I would like to send save the dates using our engagement pics (we didn’t send out engagement announcements) followed by invitations. Or, should I skip the save the dates entirely?? Any advice would be greatly appreciated in addition to wording. Thanks loves!!
Soon-to-be-Mrs <3
Post # 2
Member
1283 posts
Bumble bee
MissPickleJean: maybe something simple, like:
Save the Date!
We are getting married on (date) and would like you to join us for a celebration on (date) at/in (place)
Post # 3
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
MissPickleJean: You cannot say that you’re getting married because you already are married. Your courthouse wedding was your wedding.
I would say something like “save the date to join us in celebrating our marriage”. It does not say that a wedding will take place and I think any other type of wording will have your guests think that they will be witnessing an actual marriage ceremony instead of what you’re doing, which is essentially a vow renewal.
Post # 4
Member
6869 posts
Busy Beekeeper
I would skip the Save The Dates entirely. it seems a bit off-putting to exclude everyone from your wedding and your “symbolic” wedding but then want them to clear their calendars for your celebration.
Post # 5
Member
39 posts
Newbee
ButterflyButterfly: The way I titled this post was a bit confusing. Our invited guests are not witnessing either ceremony – legal or symbolic. The only reason we are having a symbolic in Mexico as opposed to a legal one is because for it to be legal it would have to be recited by the minister in Spanish…plus there would be bloodwork. I digress…we do want to announce months in advance that we are getting married and that we want to celebrate with everyone when we return so that people can make travel arrangements…omitting the fact that we are getting married before the reception might confuse guests…wouldn’t they wonder where/when the wedding is? Thanks for the input on the wording…this could still work!
Post # 6
Member
39 posts
Newbee
Horseradish: We are having the reception the Saturday following Thanksgiving. We chose this Saturday because most family who live out of town will be traveling to the area already. I want to give them a generous heads-up…I would be afraid sending out invites three months prior might not be enough time…who knows…thanks for the feedback!
Post # 7
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
If you’re guests are not attending the “symbolic” ceremony either then I think just focusing on having a celebration is the way to word them. However, I think it’s kind of rude to not have them attend the “symbolic” ceremony and just ask them to the party like Horseradish said.
Post # 8
Member
39 posts
Newbee
ButterflyButterfly: Well, to each his own! We’re not the first and certainly not the last bride and groom to want to skip all of the pomp and circumstance. Several immediate family members would not be able to make the trip to Mexico – brother overseas, elderly, etc. I’m dubbing the celebration a “reception” but really it’s just a get together with our families who all love us and just want to celebrate the fact that we are taking the plunge (finally) after 8 years. It’s a casual affair – hog roast, music, drinks, and dancing at a local chalet. Thanks again!
Post # 9
Member
579 posts
Busy bee
“We are getting married on (October date) in (city and state of your legal ceremony)! Save the date for a celebration of our marriage on (date of reception) in (Ohio location)!”
or, if you consider the ceremony in Mexico to be your “real” wedding:
“We are getting married in a private ceremony on (date) in (Mexico)! Save the date for a celebration of our marriage on (date of reception) in (Ohio location)!”
That way people in Ohio know that you are getting married in a faraway location, and it’s not just that you are having a local wedding but are excluding them from the ceremony.
Post # 10
Member
39 posts
Newbee
I should add that we really did not intend on having a “reception.” We felt it was an inconvenience to others with essentially everyone having to travel regardless of where we had it, and it was becoming a nightmare financially everywhere we wanted to book – New Orleans is not cheap. We started receiving calls from our parents that family members wanted to acknowledge our marriage with a celebration. I don’t want to sound like this is a burden. We feel honored! But just so everyone understands, our intentions were not to be rude to our lovely families. Again if anyony has advice on WORDING given the circumstances, I would really appreciate it. Gracias!
Post # 11
Member
39 posts
Newbee
caritas: Love this! Thank you! Thank you!
Post # 12
Member
2137 posts
Buzzing bee
I could not agree with Caritas anymore… Certainly do that! Sometimes on here, people get confused and ask follow-up questions. Other times people become more concerned with etiquette than the real reason the OP asked for advice. This happens all the time on WB. Anyway, congrats on your wedding!!! The after-party sounds like it will be a ball!
