(Closed) Advice to a newly engaged bride

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Dont be afraid to ask for help… i did everything myself (putting together centerpieces (manzanita branches) , wedding favors, wedding programs, etc) i wish i would have, but i guess i am a control freak

Post # 4
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@smarie13:  it is a marathon not a sprint. 7 days after the proposal I was told that I was behind in planning and should be done.  It made me very obstinant – to the point that I refused to discuss anything about the wedding for a couple weeks to enjoy being engaged.  THEN decide on what matters most to you and your Fiance and *try* to not let anyone else push you into making choices you don’t want/need/like (we “had” to have napkins with our name and wedding date. We “had” to have koozies. We “had” to have meatballs – lol ok that was him and it was an ok gotta). For me that meant finding a caterer who would cover an invite list that was double (at least) what I thought we’d have who also did decorations (which meant while it wasn’t going to be done to my level of “taste” it limited my stress because I finally realized anything I brought I’d have to leave with that night). She had the fire station to have smores – there’s no way in HELL I’d have been together enough to handle all of that… 

Have fun  – it really isn’t supposed to be the stress / drama fest it can sometimes be – people who add to the stress or drama ask them to step aside or butt out or make your Fiance handle them. I was surprised that “our” wedding actually was about what other people wanted or thought necessary.  It’s about you and your FH and the families & friends that brought you to the place that you were ready to commit yourself to each other.  

Agree to have a wedding safe word … when we had issues and everyone was weighing in one night I looked at my Fiance and said something like — I can’t bend and when we talked about it we agreed if there was something that we were at our limit on we’d use that phrase so the other knew it was bordering on being a real issue. 

THROW out everything that you think you “need” … I cannot tell you how much more stress having programs (something I wanted/needed in my head) would have added.  I am so glad I made myself forget them ON PURPOSE.  

Have a sounding board – for me it was 2 girlfriends who were hours away that had NOTHING to do with the wedding or planning — who I could vent and rant to about EVERYone – from my mom to his mom to my sister to my future in laws.  They were on my side even when I was not right & then they’d pull me back into reality. 


Post # 5
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

It does not have to be stressful! If it’s stressing you out, take a step back.

Don’t pick your bridesmaids right off, wait till the engagement dust settles.

Make a rough guest list and budget FIRST. This will help you narrow down venues by cost and size.

Post # 6
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

This the best advice I can give (outside of making a detailed budget as soon as possible to determine where you can spend your money) is to not ask people for their advice. It can be overwhelming so quickly & once people hear that you’re looking for advice on one thing they feel free to tell you their thoughts on everything & you’ll soon find yourself justifying your decisions. I don’t mean to sound negative. I was so much happier making my own choices (with the help of one very open-minded friend) and then simply sharing my decisions with people If that makes sense. 

Post # 7
4525 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Hammer out guest list and budget before you make a deposit on anything. Most of all, be flexible and open-minded. It’s easy to fall in love with a vision of your day, but it might not happen exactly that way and that’s fine too.


Post # 8
5001 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Enjoy it! Seriously, I loved wedding planning and will always remember our engagement as a wonderful time in my life. There’s no point in going crazy over little things and turning it into a stressful situation. This is (hopefully) the only time in your life that you will be engaged, so try to focus on that rather than making yourself stressed out over the wedding day. 

Post # 9
2290 posts
Buzzing bee

Have the kind of wedding that you want. 

Too often, brides have a style of wedding that they don’t want just to please other people. They go through the planning, deal with family and friends, spend money, and stress about an event that they don’t really want. In many cases, it just doesn’t have to be that way. 

If you want to have a private ceremony or elope (they are not the same thing) you don’t have to give up the wedding dress, the photography, videograpy, and all of those things that most people think are reserved for weddings with lots of guests. 

Wear what you want to wear, get the quality video and photos that you really want, and do things how you really want to do them. 

Post # 10
373 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Beach

Have fun and try to have date nights with your Fiance where you don’t discuss anything wedding related. Leave yourself time with the engagement. Don’t rush your self to start the wedding planning because as soon as you start the more stressful the relationship gets so try to have fun as much as you can and remember only ONE thing throughout the planning you are marrying the one person you love 🙂

Post # 11
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Don’t think it has to be like the movies!

Stay true to what you and your fiance want in a wedding day, not what everyone else thinks you should do.

Post # 12
810 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Your wedding can be whatever you want it to be– whether it be a lavish ballroom wedding or going to the courthouse in a sundress and getting a corndog after. I got married on same beach where we got engaged with 13 people (just immediate family) in attendence. I had a full on wedding dress, hair and make up, my husband and his brother wore suits, complete strangers clapped as I stepped on the beach (from a look out.) Then, we went to a fancy French restaurant for a dinner party. We originally had garden wedding in April planned but we pretty much had the whole thing planned within 2 weeks, so we decided to just go for it! We were only engaged for 2 months. Sometimes I wish we had the big garden wedding but our beach wedding was so US and such a unique wedding. We are planning on having a fun backyard reception for our first wedding anniversary. 

In the end… people honestly don’t remember the details a few days after a wedding so dont sweat it too much! Focus on your love.:)

Post # 14
1654 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Have the wedding you can afford

However, don’t have champagne expectations on a beer budget, do your research and understand market prices to save yourself the hassle

Ask yourself – is it essential to getting married or making guests happy? If not, you can probably do without it (I got stressed out by escort cards. Ended up not really caring about them and downgraded the original idea)

Remember your marriage is for a lifetime. Take time to work on your relationship too while wedding planning

Unsubscribe from blogs that show unrealistic weddings

Post # 15
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Bring water and a snack to go dress shopping. Maybe going solo isn’t the worst idea.

Post # 16
1320 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - NH

@melonseeds:  Great advice! 

My best advice is to just know you won’t make everyone happy with your wedding decisions, and to keep them to yourself for as long as possible.  We didn’t discuss our guest list with anyone and sent out save the dates and now have some backlash (oh, we mentioned the wedding to so and so thinking they were invited and they’re not…can you send them an invite?).  Make your list/budget and commit to it and your reasons for it. 

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