(Closed) Advice to give a close friend (any advice would be great, afraid I might be bias)

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
1340 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2005 - A Castle

So the guy cheated on his first wife with S and he’s now talking to S, going to dinner with S again but they’re “just friends” who happened to go on vacation together with some old friends, all while marrying your friend at the end of the month?

What was the question again? This seems like a no-brainer. 

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by  dracarys.
Post # 3
Member
2553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

MsLittleBookOwl:  So so sorry you have to deal with this, nothing worse than watching a friend make a terrible mistake.  If your friend is aware of all these things and is still considering marrying him I’m afraid there’s nothing you can say.  Taking your ex-mistress instead of your fiance to the Bahamas?  Umm…no.  Just tell her you stand by her and support her and let her make this decision.  If they’re living together, I would probably throw out that if she ever needed a place to stay my couch/spare room is always open and leave it at that.

But then I’m more the “lead a horse to water” type, so if you prefer the direct appropach then I suggest getting within 2 inches of her face and screaming at the top of your lungs “run you fool!!!”

Post # 4
Member
7642 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

MsLittleBookOwl:  Wait, are you saying that S has taken a woman other than M on a vacation to the Bahamas???

Obviously S is cheating on her and M needs to call off the wedding. But S’s cheating is so blatant I first want to check that I haven’t misinterpreted what you wrote.

Post # 6
Member
5878 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

MsLittleBookOwl:  He went to the Bahamas with this “friend” while he was dating/engaged to your friend?  What on earth…?  And she was ok with that?  That’s insane.

If I were you I’d sit her down and have a talk.  I’d say, “Jane, I love you and I want you to be happy.  I cannot ignore that you are about to marry a man who appears to be romantically involved with another woman.  I will support you however you choose, if you want us to forget that this conversation has ever happened I will wipe it from my mind and will support you on your big day.  But if you need someone to talk to, or someone to support you in calling off your wedding, I will be there for you.”

Post # 7
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

I think your bias is warranted. Your friend’s FI’s sounds like a d-bag. Tell her to at least postpone, if not cancel the wedding. No way in hell would I marry my Fiance if he was going on a couples vacation with some other chick a few months/weeks before OUR wedding. HELL. TO. THE. NO!

Post # 8
Member
99 posts
Worker bee

If this was my friend I would be telling her to run as fast and as far as she could away from this man. Sorry, but there’s simply no way he’s suddenly just platonic friends with the woman he had an affair with and destroyed his previous marriage for. 

Post # 10
Member
310 posts
Helper bee

stop the wedding.  no.

Post # 11
Member
687 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Oh goodness no. Not even remotely okay. Your friend’s cognitive dissonance is pushing her toward a huge mistake. 

Post # 12
Member
756 posts
Busy bee

Erm… How does she not see how wrong this is?

Post # 13
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee

Yeah…nobody takes a member of the opposite sex to the Bahamas just for shits and giggles, I don’t care how good of friends they are! Not to mention they are ex lovers.  Poor M.  She needs to get out ASAP. 

Post # 14
Member
3307 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

So your friend’s Fiance takes another woman on an island vacation with another couple. Your friend sits at home. I can only assume this guy is spoon-feeding her lies and she’s either desperate or completely clueless. Yes, she should marry him – but only if she wants drama and misery in her life.

Post # 15
Member
927 posts
Busy bee

It’s no question she shouldn’t marry this guy – so what’s keeping her with him? Remind her that the longer she leaves it, the harder it will be on her to cancel the wedding. It’s gonna be mighty unpleasant, she needs to just get it over with. 

The topic ‘Advice to give a close friend (any advice would be great, afraid I might be bias)’ is closed to new replies.

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