Post # 1
A close friend of mine, lets call her M, is getting married end of the month. She and her Fiance have been together for 2 1/2 years. They were always pretty happy to me and she told me she was happy and excited too until recently. Now her Fiance had been married before and his ex left him because he cheated with a co worker, lets call her S. She soon moved to another company and he met my friend. Lately, S and him reconnected and they have been hanging out, movies dinners, talking on the phone almost daily,even a vacation to bahamas with another couple who was their mutual friends. M is very upset but he insisted they were just friends. Now M wouldn’t even know S was the women he cheated with, had his ex wife (a lovely girl who recently got engaged as well) told her out if concern. I dunno what to say or what to think.
Post # 2
- Wedding: September 2005 - A Castle
So the guy cheated on his first wife with S and he’s now talking to S, going to dinner with S again but they’re “just friends” who happened to go on vacation together with some old friends, all while marrying your friend at the end of the month?
What was the question again? This seems like a no-brainer.
Post # 3
MsLittleBookOwl: So so sorry you have to deal with this, nothing worse than watching a friend make a terrible mistake. If your friend is aware of all these things and is still considering marrying him I’m afraid there’s nothing you can say. Taking your ex-mistress instead of your fiance to the Bahamas? Umm…no. Just tell her you stand by her and support her and let her make this decision. If they’re living together, I would probably throw out that if she ever needed a place to stay my couch/spare room is always open and leave it at that.
But then I’m more the “lead a horse to water” type, so if you prefer the direct appropach then I suggest getting within 2 inches of her face and screaming at the top of your lungs “run you fool!!!”
Post # 4
MsLittleBookOwl: Wait, are you saying that S has taken a woman other than M on a vacation to the Bahamas???
Obviously S is cheating on her and M needs to call off the wedding. But S’s cheating is so blatant I first want to check that I haven’t misinterpreted what you wrote.
Post # 5
aussiemum1248: S it the women her Fiance cheated on with, yes they went to the Bahamas with another couple who are their mutual friends/former colleague.
Post # 6
MsLittleBookOwl: He went to the Bahamas with this “friend” while he was dating/engaged to your friend? What on earth…? And she was ok with that? That’s insane.
If I were you I’d sit her down and have a talk. I’d say, “Jane, I love you and I want you to be happy. I cannot ignore that you are about to marry a man who appears to be romantically involved with another woman. I will support you however you choose, if you want us to forget that this conversation has ever happened I will wipe it from my mind and will support you on your big day. But if you need someone to talk to, or someone to support you in calling off your wedding, I will be there for you.”
Post # 7
I think your bias is warranted. Your friend’s FI’s sounds like a d-bag. Tell her to at least postpone, if not cancel the wedding. No way in hell would I marry my Fiance if he was going on a couples vacation with some other chick a few months/weeks before OUR wedding. HELL. TO. THE. NO!
Post # 8
If this was my friend I would be telling her to run as fast and as far as she could away from this man. Sorry, but there’s simply no way he’s suddenly just platonic friends with the woman he had an affair with and destroyed his previous marriage for.
Post # 9
Thats what I think too. I just can’t comprehend a romantic vacation like that
Post # 11
Oh goodness no. Not even remotely okay. Your friend’s cognitive dissonance is pushing her toward a huge mistake.
Post # 12
Erm… How does she not see how wrong this is?
Post # 13
Yeah…nobody takes a member of the opposite sex to the Bahamas just for shits and giggles, I don’t care how good of friends they are! Not to mention they are ex lovers. Poor M. She needs to get out ASAP.
Post # 14
So your friend’s Fiance takes another woman on an island vacation with another couple. Your friend sits at home. I can only assume this guy is spoon-feeding her lies and she’s either desperate or completely clueless. Yes, she should marry him – but only if she wants drama and misery in her life.
Post # 15
It’s no question she shouldn’t marry this guy – so what’s keeping her with him? Remind her that the longer she leaves it, the harder it will be on her to cancel the wedding. It’s gonna be mighty unpleasant, she needs to just get it over with.