- 10 years ago
- Wedding: January 2018
I don’t mean to call for a ‘cloud of doom and gloom’ (ok. slight exaggeration), but I am in a difficult position with my MOH- my sister, and really need some advice.
The long and the short of it goes like this. I am really dissappointed in my sister as being my Maid/Matron of Honor. Please don’t get me wrong, I had asked people’s advice along the way, and they told me…"don’t worry, she’ll come around"…and I did think that maybe I was being ‘fussy’ with her unsupportive behaviour…but guess what..it hadn’t really changed.
So far, I’ve experienced, sarcasm and panic, when we announed our wedding in Thailand.(yay!)..(her words: "how come you always have to do something different", how am I gonna pay for this??, etc); an almost absentee Maid/Matron of Honor at my engagement party when she told me she wouldn’t be coming until 7:pm at night to help out (I told her me her help in the morning but she decided to stay at her friend’s house); constant reminding of "the touble she had to go through" while planning my shower with my mom (they argued); overall unenthusiasm during the whole process (ie. no asking about decor or colours, or giving me suggestions on things); unenthusiasm when we were away on our wedding abroad (because she wasn’t the center of attention); and a lot of "well I didn’t know i was supposed to’s" when I briefly touched on a few of these issues. (I am trying to keep this condensed ..so sorry!!)
The icing on the cake was when she made no mention of me, or of us growing up, or of my character, when she spoke at our wedding. Aside from thanking everyone for coming, she told only the story of how when we (me, sis, boyfriend, husband) all went out for breakfast; and how my husband immediately paid for the bill. She said: oh..you didnt’ have to pay for that…Husband said: that’s ok we’re family now. While this is a very nice thing to say…I couldn’t help but think the obvious. My husband and I spoke later and wondered why she mentioned the groom and not her own sister.
I understand that she was nervous, and that all those cue cards didn’t come in handy (yes..she had a whole speech written down but didn’t read it); but when I told her that she let me down, she acted in typical defensive fashion and started with the excuses.
I haven’t called her since, but we have a post-reception in August so we’ll need to talk soon. The thing is I really regret choosing her as Maid/Matron of Honor, and she really hurt me through this whole process. I feel like she has done things as a ‘chore’I love her, she is my younger sister, but her immaturity (and maybe insecurity??) has really left me with deep disappointment.
I would appreciate any advice. I am unsure of how to handle this situation, as I am still emotional about the whole thing. Please help.