(Closed) Advice wanted – what's taking him so long?!

posted 6 years ago in Proposals
Post # 2
Member
9518 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Everything mean to happen happens in due time. Have yoh talked to him? I see his point of waiting until you are in canada, but why wouldn’t he want to celebrate with his friends and family? That warrants a deeper discussion.

Post # 3
Member
10988 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

What do you mean when you say he gets ‘frustrated’ when you try to discuss engagement with him?  Exactly what does he say/do?  Have you sat him down someplace neutral, like out to dinner, for a serious timeline talk?

He’s your SO–you should be able to talk to him about anything.

Post # 4
Member
3839 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

I wonder if he wants to feel more “settled” before proposing or wants to feel like you guys have solid foundation to begin a life together on. The fact that he wants to wait until all the major upcoming changes happen doesn’t seem abnormal to me, but I completely understand why you want to have the proposal while you guys are near family. You might want to ask what he feels needs to be in place before he’s comfortable getting married. He may have certain goals he wants to achieve (like feeling he could reliably provide for you and the future kids) before he proposes.

Post # 5
Member
2392 posts
Buzzing bee

He gets “quite frustrated” with you when you bring up the subject…. how so? Is he shutting down the conversation? 

It’s one thing to have different opinions and expectations, but at the very least you should BOTH feel free to talk about it.

It sounds like he’s very comfy with the status quo — he’s enjoying many of the benefits of being married, without making the formal commitment. He doesn’t have the incentive to go out of his comfort zone or compromise with you on the timeline.

As long as the both of you “get there” eventually, it will all be good, but in the meantime you’re in a frustrating situation. Hugs!

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