(Closed) Adviceee !!! please

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@josynix:  naww honey that is terrible!! I don’t understand why just because they are offering to pay they think they can run the entire wedding their way!! that’s not fair and not on. I would either do one of the following teo options:

1. Tell them both that you don’t want them to pay for it if they are going to be like that and save money til you can also contribute at least half

2. Tell your Fiance that if he wants a drink up then maybe he can organise another little party after you guys come back from the honeymoon and try to negotiate a wedding more to your style. you need to come to a cmpromise.

good luck xx

Post # 4
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Well, the alcohol thing I kind of agree with your Fiance, you are all adults, I doubt people will get very very drunk but at least it will open up the conversation and make people more easy going so that will actually contribute more to what you want. I dont understand from your post that your family is paying half and his is paying half? Or he is paying half and his mother is paying half?

Either way it sounds like you need to stand up for yourself, get to a compromise with her. Say maybe, I now you love that but I really would prefer something more like this, can we get to an agreement where we are both happy?

Post # 7
Member
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@josynix:  no problems!! I am with you regarding the alcohol though – the last thing I wanted was for my guests to get blind drunk and get all stupid (and although they are adults, it’s like as soon as there is free alcohol they go all teenager again), and then if they acted like that no doubt they’d want the groom to join in, and again, the last thing I’d want is for my groom to be too drunk to behave/remember and so on.

However, in saying all this, i’m not against alcohol, by all means i enjoy a drink, but I think that there is a time and a place for a drink up – at the bachelor party yes … at the wedding … not so much.

Have you spoken to your Fiance about this??

A lot of wedding receptions have drink packagaes which is what we had: beer, wine, softdrinks, juices and water. Our friends are heavyyyyy drinkers but they were fine with the no spirits. It’s a wedding not a boys/girls night out.

Post # 8
Member
741 posts
Busy bee

I don’t think it’s unusual that you both want different things, it’s not like one way is better than the other. The idea is that you compromise. Do you know what you are okay with and what your limits are? I like the PP idea of just wine/beer. Maybe a signature drink? Maybe you can do dance music for like 25% of the time or something. Is he willing to have a conversation about these compromises?

Post # 10
Member
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@josynix:  do you really think it’s time to marry him then? he sounds extremely bossy and not interested in compromise, and that is what a marriage is.

Post # 12
Member
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@josynix:  that doesn’t sound right to me. Is it possible to maybe postpone the wedding??? I’m just worried that already look at how much these two are bullying you, and it will only get worse once you’re his wife and living with them both!!!! that sounds like a recipe for disaster. Marriage is hard work and both husband and wife need to work at it and stick together, you don’t need any extra pressure from a meddling mother in law.

Post # 14
Member
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@josynix:  i honestly couldn’t cope with that, and i applaud you for sticking around. However, I still think you should be focussing on the marriage between you and your Fiance. good luck with it all though xx

Post # 16
Member
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@josynix:  πŸ™‚ no problems x all the best

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