Post # 1
I’m getting married in a couple of months. We are not having a bridal party but our two closest friends are signing the paper work, and our other friends will be enjoying the wedding without any stress, hassle or responsibilties. Anyway, recently my Future Mother-In-Law strongly recommended (on two occassions) that when we get our photos taken (between the ceremony and reception – approx 1-1.5 hours) we should take some of our friends, as it will be more ‘fun’. My fiance has taken this advice on board and is trying to convince me that Future Mother-In-Law knows best (based on her experience of being in a few wedding parties 20+ years ago). I am not keen on the idea. I want the time in between for us to have a moment to ourselves and to take in the enormity of what has happened. There will be opportunities to for us to spend time and get photos with our friends later in the evening, as the photographer will be there all night. I would feel self conscious getting photos taken with people, other than the photographer, watching – as we have asked our photographer to take intimate and candid shots, rather than posed. Not to mention the fact that we have no official wedding party and I would feel rude inviting a select few friends to be in our photos/hanging out with us during the photo taking. Thoughts and opinions please? How can I communicate this to my fiance. He doesn’t seem to understand what I am telling him?
Post # 2
I think you would be fine to just go you and your husband, it will also take less time if you don’t bring anyone else. What is the point of dragging your friends around to watch you have pictures taken? Doesn’t sound like much fun for them, let them go to cocktail hour and enjoy themselves and you two can decompress with some alone time.
Post # 3
I like your idea better. Do a private shoot with you guys, and get some fun friend ones later on.
Could you chat privately with the photographer and maybe s/he can make it out to be not a good plan? Plus you can always ask him if his moms opinion is more important than yours, its not her wedding, etc.
Post # 4
I think it would be weird to invite friends to take fun photos, but not be in a wedding party. The photographer will takes pics of all your guest at all the reception so why would you ask them to make a special trip for pictures? I think your Future Mother-In-Law is dated in her way of thinking and be firm when you speak to your fiance. There is no reason to ask your friends to go out of their way to get pictures. This will likely look odd because the clothing hasn’t been coordinated so everyone will be different colors and materials and prints etc. It will likely cause confusion (Who is supposed to go, where are you supposed to go, who is supposed to drive, just friends or friends and their significant other, etc) and may make you late for the reception by the time they all get there – line up and smile, it will be time to go!
Post # 5
You could make it work if you let your friends know in advance to be right up front when you cut the cake, for example. Then it would be easy to quickly corral them for a group shot. You may end up with some extra friends and dates in the photo, but I don’t necessarily think it a bad thing 🙂
Post # 6
I think it’s ridiculous you Future Mother-In-Law feels like she gets a say in this. Do what you want to do.
Post # 7
NikkiBee18 : this.
OP- your photo shoot is time for you to get great wedding pictures, not hang out and party with your friends. I think it’s interesting that your Future Mother-In-Law is giving her perpective as someone who was in some weddings 20 years ago but not taking into account the fact that you won’t be having a bridal party. As a bridesmaid, it makes sense that everyone had fun taking pictures together. It would look pretty strange for you to just gather up some random friends from the wedding and say “Hey! Come watch me take my wedding pictures!” If I was attending your wedding and you did that, I’d be like “Girl! I’m not missing cocktail hour to watch you take pictures!”
Also- your Fiance clearly does not know how to wedding. Just tell him it’s a no go.