Advice/experience/opinions please: could FMIL be right???

posted 2 years ago in Photos/Videos
Post # 2
422 posts
Helper bee

I think you would be fine to just go you and your husband, it will also take less time if you don’t bring anyone else. What is the point of dragging your friends around to watch you have pictures taken? Doesn’t sound like much fun for them, let them go to cocktail hour and enjoy themselves and you two can decompress with some alone time. 

Post # 3
6616 posts
Bee Keeper

I like your idea better. Do a private shoot with you guys, and get some fun friend ones later on. 

Could you chat privately with the photographer and maybe s/he can make it out to be not a good plan? Plus you can always ask him if his moms opinion is more important than yours, its not her wedding, etc. 

Post # 4
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I think it would be weird to invite friends to take fun photos, but not be in a wedding party.  The photographer will takes pics of all your guest at all the reception so why would you ask them to make a special trip for pictures?  I think your Future Mother-In-Law is dated in her way of thinking and be firm when you speak to your fiance.  There is no reason to ask your friends to go out of their way to get pictures.  This will likely look odd because the clothing hasn’t been coordinated so everyone will be different colors and materials and prints etc.  It will likely cause confusion (Who is supposed to go, where are you supposed to go, who is supposed to drive, just friends or friends and their significant other, etc) and may make you late for the reception by the time they all get there – line up and smile, it will be time to go!

Post # 5
619 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

You could make it work if you let your friends know in advance to be right up front when you cut the cake, for example. Then it would be easy to quickly corral them for a group shot. You may end up with some extra friends and dates in the photo, but I don’t necessarily think it a bad thing 🙂 

Post # 6
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

I think it’s ridiculous you Future Mother-In-Law feels like she gets a say in this. Do what you want to do.

Post # 7
6167 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

NikkiBee18 :  this.

OP- your photo shoot is time for you to get great wedding pictures, not hang out and party with your friends. I think it’s interesting that your Future Mother-In-Law is giving her perpective as someone who was in some weddings 20 years ago but not taking into account the fact that you won’t be having a bridal party. As a bridesmaid, it makes sense that everyone had fun taking pictures together. It would look pretty strange for you to just gather up some random friends from the wedding and say “Hey! Come watch me take my wedding pictures!” If I was attending your wedding and you did that, I’d be like “Girl! I’m not missing cocktail hour to watch you take pictures!”

Also- your Fiance clearly does not know how to wedding. Just tell him it’s a no go.

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