- 7 years ago
- Wedding: December 2010
My Darling Husband and I have been married since October. We’ve only known each other for a little over a year.
About a year ago (we had only been seeing each other for a month or 2) he received a letter from a girl that he had a one-night stand with. In this letter she told him that she had given birth to a baby girl. At this point, the little girl was a year old. In essence, he had been with this girl about a year and a half (give or take) before we even met. Also, in the letter, she left her phone number. He called and they talked briefly. He said he would call her back, but he never did.
I guess he wanted to put the whole situation out of him mind. He said when they hooked up that the condom broke, but that he went and bought her the morning after pill the following morning. He said he saw her take the pill.
After hearing all of this, and only being with him for a month or so at the time, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to stay with him. However, I fell in love with him and we married just this year.
Yesterday, he received a christmas card from her. Inside the card said, “hoping you’ll make the right decision in the coming year.” She also included a picture of her little girl. I can honestly say that I do see things about this little girl that resemble my Darling Husband. That isn’t saying much though…I mean, I could pick out kids off of the street who I think have my eye color, or lip shape, etc.
This puts both of us in a position. Ignore this situtation, because this girl could just be trying to pin-point who she hooked up with over 2 years ago…or him try to contact her again and get a DNA test done.
My feelings are…if he does contact her, gets a DNA test and IS the father…I can’t say exactly why I feel this way…but I don’t think I’ll want to have kids. (He has a daughter from a previous marriage who I adore more than anything). I can’t see myself having a child with someone who already has 2 kids by two different women. I know that may sound horrible…but I can’t help how I feel. He says that he doesn’t want this to hurt our marriage. Of course I don’t want it to hurt our marriage. However, he already pays child support for his daughter. If this girl ends up taking him to court for child support…we could potentially lose our house and half to move to a shitty apartment. That in return could totally ruin our financial situation…and end result, could cause problems with our marriage.
I really have NO idea what to do, what to think, or what to tell him he should do. I mean…this is his “problem” if you will, I had nothing to do with. However, we’re married now and what are his problems, are mine.
Please help me out with this…I could use ANY and all advice anyone is willing to give.