(Closed) Advice/Support on dealing with bridesmaids/friends

posted 8 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 3
Member
301 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I would really try not to think about it, as hard as that is because I know. Everyone has there own style and taste and what you may like, she may not. This is YOUR day, and I cannot stress that enough. it will be a special time between you and your husband to be. Are you thinking about confronting her?

I just wanted to tell you to just remember that everthing you are doing will be perfect and she should know that you aren’t doing this to make her happy.

Post # 4
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@kingytobe: …tell me that they didn’t want to do certain things becasue they don’t have the money and I should understand because the financial situation for this wedding is different because I’m young (which once again, isn’t)…

To be fair, msot 23-24 year olds AREN’T in a good financial place (and I don’t think they’re generallt expected to be), so for them to say THEY can’t afford certain things for YOUR wedding is certainly fair…

Other than that, if you know they’re wrong, why should it bother you? 🙂 This is supposed to be the time you spend enjoying, so don’t waste your time with others’ negativity!

Post # 5
Member
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Trust yourself rather than your friends’ opinions about your age and marriage.  Their opinions are out of your control.  Allow them to have their opinions.  Stay focused on your preparations and enjoying this special time.  🙂

Post # 6
Member
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I am 25 and my fiance is 39. He was already married once for 16 years, and I have never been married – but somehow being associated with him makes it “more okay” in a weird way to be “young” (and I don’t think 25 is young; I will be 27 by the time we actually have the wedding, and he will be 40).

My bridal party is all around my age. Except for one friend whose husband is in the Air Force (and thus they get free everything plus loads of money from the government, haha), everyone is in the same financial boat as me – aka, barely keeping it afloat and bailing water out as fast as possible to avoid total sinkage…

What I said to all my bridesmaids is that I will do everything in my power to keep this as inexpensive as possible for everyone, and that if they have ANY problem meeting any of the financial obligations, to TELL ME and I will work it into our wedding budget. The way I phrased it was, “I would rather have all five of you there, in good spirits and with sound wallets, than to have one extra flower in our bouquets.”

In My Humble Opinion, this was a generous but NOT condescending way to offer help and to hopefully stop anyone from worrying that my wedding will cost them too much money – because honestly, what fun is it if your friends are broke and pissy on your wedding day?

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