(Closed) advise on unwanted family members in attendance

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
450 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would just not invite them… Im sorry. You can’t invite your uncle and not her. 

Post # 4
Member
12973 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You can’t divide social units – meaning, you can’t invite your uncle and not his wife.  You have to decide if you want both of them there, or neither.

Post # 6
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@ginagirl248:  Does your uncle realize how your aunt treats you? If not, I would have a talk with him and let him know. I would also remark that at your wedding you exepct her to be civil.

A lot of bees are going to tell you that as they are a couple they have to be invited together. This is true. I’m bold enough to give your aunt a call and lay down the law but then I’m kinda bold hehehe.

You could always sit them in the back of the reception all. Furthermore do you think she will even come? If she does, I would let her see me in all my happiness and go run tell that.

Post # 5
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Yup if it’s a married couple, you can’t invite one but not the other.  Either invite both the uncle and the aunt, or neither.

Post # 9
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@ginagirl248:  Can you just ‘not’ invite him and your mom never know? LIke you “accidently” forgot to send an invite? Do you think your mom will call him to see if he is coming?

Heck if you are not close, I would just sit them in the nosebleed section ahhaha. But I would also find a way to explain to your fiancee that this does not mean the guest list has to explode.

Post # 10
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think maybe you and your Fiance (or just you) can have a talk with your mom and explain to her that you do not want any potential for drama from this lady at such a special occasion. You all are not even close with him. Let your mom know that you two want people there who are truly happy for you, love you, and want the best for you. It sounds like this person does not (all 3). 

If she is adamant about the uncle being invited, and you and your Fiance don’t mind, then just invite them both. Chances are the lady won’t come, and if she does, she’ll probably just sit there and stew in her bad attitude. But do what makes YOU happy.

Post # 11
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@ginagirl248:  

It’s up to you if you want to invite the uncle by himself or not. It’s your wedding.

But…

If your Fiance received an invitation to a family wedding that excluded you, what would he do? What would you want him to do? How would you feel? How would your Fiance feel?

I think if you’re okay with being the people that put your aunt and uncle in that situation, invite just the uncle. Otherwise, decide if you’re willing to accept both, or if you’d rather not have either. 

Post # 13
Member
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

yikes, i wouldnt want this broad at my wedding either. i am sure she would go, be judgy and then report back to the ex’s family. i agree you cant invite him and not her, so clearly the only option if you dont want her there is to not invite wither of them. i would just be upfront with your mom about why you cant invite him and she will just have to deal with it. he isnt close with your family, so i cant see him not being there causing any extra strain on your relationship.

Post # 16
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@ginagirl248:  I understand what you are saying and no: money is a gift not a negoiating tool. I would not want your aunt there either. If you dont’ want to invite them, then don’t. Don’t send an invited and don’t let your mom know. Hopefully she won’t bring it up.

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