Post # 1
This is going to probably seem very drawn out and you will probably wonder were I am going with all this, but PLEASE stay with me I will get there eventually…
So I am having a small wedding, 50 people including the wedding party. I have asked my four sisters to be the BMs (ages: 22,20,16) and my one cousin to be the MOH(age: 20), (cause I didn’t want to choose a sister). And before you ask why all family? And the answer to that would be because although I have girlfriends I know and went to school with, I am not close with them anymore and none (I think) are special enough to have the position of a bridesmaid.
All of the girls were/are very excited for me. However none of them have shown any real interest in helping me with my wedding. I had at first thought this was going to be so much fun I get to plan my wedding with my favorite people, my sisters. But now, more than a couple monthes into the planning I see what I get look forward too. No one but my nana to help me with my wedding. Question 1: Would it be right to now change/have only 1 BM/MOH?
I have more….
So I have gone back and forth about BM/MOH dresses(like a bright navy blue). At first I had decided to choose the color and then let them pick there dress from ANYWHERE. That didn’t sit too well with my co-helper(as she likes to call herself,”The Matriarch”). She wants to go traditional and have the girls all in the same dress with the exception to my Maid/Matron of Honor. So we have now ordered and RETURNED 2 dresses. 1-My Fiance didn’t like the coloring and the girls didn’t like the look of the dress. 2-FI didn’t quite like the coloring of that dress either or the pretty flower in the front and the wonderful girls didn’t like that dres. NOW, it gets interesting…my soon to be Aunt-in-law(or however you are supposed to say that) has offered to let me wear her grandmothers necklace and earings(the stones are garnett). So I have come up with a new idea….Question 2: Do you think that the bright navy blue and garnett/burgundy Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses go together. Example: One girl wear the blue and the next wear burgundy and then blue and so on. Is that too much? (I am attaching the two colors)I am ready at this point to just say here is a color and go pick out your dresses.
I hate to sound like a complainer, but I don’t really have anyone to talk with and any help would do me a world of wonders!!!
Post # 3
I would worry about it getting to be a little too Americana for my taste with the navy/burgundy. As far as your sisters helping you – you’re family! Just tell them when you need assistance :).
Post # 4
One- You are not a complainer at all. This is your wedding and you want it to be as perfect as possible. I completely understand!
To answer your first question, I do not think it would be too late to change how many ppl you want in the wedding for whatever reason. Only because again it’s YOUR wedding. If you feel things need to be changed due to planning and now knowing more of what you may want or how things may go then I think those girls will understand.
To answer your second question, I think those two colors are very pretty and you could some wonferful flowers to tie those two colors together.
I think you will do just fine no matter what you choose. But, always keep in mind that you are the bride and it should be how you want it! Best of luck!
Post # 5
Pretty color combo! I like it. If you find you can’t please all the girls, which you probably can’t, why don’t you pick one color AND dress options in the same color and fabric, like from Dessy or something. Then let them get what they want out of your choices.
I would not go back on asking anyone to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. You’re probably better off doing stuff mostly on your own or only with a couple others, because too many opinions cause doubts (see Bridesmaid or Best Man dress choice). Plus, their lives can’t revolve around your wedding. Maybe they don’t have time to help you a whole bunch. Just ask their opinion on stuff if you want and leave it at that. My BMs vary in their level of interest as well, and I just accept it and look at the silver lining: I won’t be 2nd guessing myself so much!
Post # 6
I totally understand your position, i am having just family Bridesmaid or Best Man, and they havent help on anything, even whit their dresses, i like the navi blue, you can look for some dreses at diferente stores or sites, and give them the options,so they can buy it. If you need any help or ideas i am willing to help you :), i know the feeling, and its not fun at all. So pelase relax, and think that even without your family or friends help, YOU WILL DO IT, and everything will look perfect and you will love it. My Bridesmaid or Best Man drenes aré Aqua blue, so i have been doing some research, i had found lots of diferente options and styles for young Bridesmaid or Best Man.
Post # 7
I just thought of something :). Instead of having them alternate dress colors, it might be cute if they had burgundy colored jewelry and/or flowers as well so that you can keep your base color as navy. Just a thought!
Post # 8
it’s completely fine to change it into just 1 BM/MOH. my own sister didn’t help me with my wedding at all even though she was the Maid/Matron of Honor. it was one of my BMs who threw me a bridal shower, it was another Bridesmaid or Best Man who helped out the day of the wedding. other than that, i pretty much plan the whole wedding by myself with the support from mom. it’s frustrating, but at the same time, dont’ let it bother you.
i do like both colors you posted but i think navy with burgandy is a bit too much.
Post # 9
Although I just posted this, you ladies are wonderful for responding so quickly…and you have eased my mind. I think going in the future, if I need some advise this is my first place to stop!
LOL! I just have to laugh Jo.Lee at the Americana thing…totally true! And I really like your idea about the jewelry thing. That would make it all work so I wouldn’t have to tell my a-i-l that that is not my colors…
Post # 10
I would be a little wary of cutting your sisters out of your wedding, even if they aren’t participating in helping you plan, it might lead to some hurt feelings. If you can, I would keep them in your wedding, with your adjusted expectations that all they’ll do is wear a dress, show up and look pretty.
And I think I would keep navy as the main color, and make burgandy an accent color. Just give them the color (and maybe a manufacturer, so the colors will actually be the same) and set them loose to find their own dresses- one stress off of your shoulders!
Post # 11
I agree with arclee. If you ask your sisters to step down, they might be hurt. Is it worth ruining or hurting your relationship with them?
I don’t even think you need to use garnet in anything just b/c it’s in your jewelry. Just like some brides have colored shoes that don’t necessarily match, you can have colored jewelry.
Post # 12
I agree with other posters that it’s not really worth potentially hurting your sister’s feelings by asking them to step down. It sounds kind of like they’re not “living up” to your expectations of being bridesmaids. Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in being the bride and expecting everyone else to be as excited about your wedding as you are. Please don’t let it hurt your feelings when that’s not the case. Some people are just better at offering their help than others. Your sisters probably want to help you, because you’re their sister and they love you, but remember they have stuff going on in their lives as well and your wedding, exciting as it may be, is most likely not #1 on their lists.
SO: If you need/want help with things, call your sisters up and ask them to help you. My bridemaids were the same way- they didn’t seem all that eager to help me, but in the end, I was so happy that they were there on the day to be with me and share the experience. I took on a lot of work myself, but I think if I had bit the bullet and ASKED for help, I would have gotten a lot more help.
The dress thing: I like the idea of the bright navy. If your girls are being difficult and/or picky, or if they are different shapes and sizes, it might be best to pick a designer, fabric, and color and let them pick their own dress. Tons of designers do this now and the end result is flattering dresses that do look chic, coordinated, and classic without being matchy-matchy. I used Lula Kate- they have ADORABLE dresses and beautiful blues that might be what you’re looking for. They are a tad bit pricier ($200-ish) but my girls will definitely be wearing them again.
Post # 13
Did you order the previous dresses online? My advice is to first get color swatches and agree with your Fiance on colors that you both like and then once that is sorted out, actually go to a store and with the girls and have them try on different styles, then you can decide the style you like best for them before re-ordering new dresses.