- 6 years ago
Backstory: Anticipating engagement, after 3.5 years together. Have lived together for 3 years. No problems–besides the following blip that occurred 2 years ago that I cannot seem to get over.
Here it goes:
Two summers ago my boyfriend and I attended a party honoring a mutual family friend (his mom’s friend’s daughter and coincidentally my cousin’s relative as well). Everything was fine and everyone had a great time. I was a bit tired and wanted to go home, but I urged my boyfriend to attend the after party at a local bar. He came home an hour later and we went to bed. Since we attended this girl’s party, my boyfriend and her became friends again (since they have known each other since they were kids). I was totally cool with this, and even encouraged him to hang out since it was the summer.
Call me naive, but I didn’t really think it was a big deal to stay over a friend’s house if you have been drinking. I was cool with my boyfriend doing this every other weekend because I was fulfilled hanging out with him during the week and other weekends, so I didn’t think that he was spending too much time “away”. Well I told my best friend all of this casually, and she FLIPPED OUT. She told me that there is no way that this is normal and that I should be going out with them. So I took her advice, all panicked, and asked to join the next time they were having a night out. Well, he didn’t want me to come. He claimed that I wouldn’t like the people there and that I would be bored. WTF? So I broke down into hysterics and begged him not to go. He refused and left, and I cried all night.
The next day I tried to play it cool and everything seemed fine because my boyfriend was loving and didn’t seem irritated or anything. We even had a great date night later that day. Well, the next day I checked my boyfriends phone for the time as we were watching TV. There were several unchecked texts from this girl. I looked at them and it was revealed that they had been texting everyday since that initial party. They were involved in an emotional relationship. My boyfriend shared personal things about us with her. I was devastated and wanted to truly die. He swore up and down that he wanted only me and didnt mean to take it “that far”. I told him to stop talking to her. He agreed but said that it would be hard to avoid her since she is a mutual family friend, and his sister has always been close to her. I was PISSED. His sister is also a close friend of mine and stood by my side during this trying time.
She distanced herself from this girl as I have chosen and tried extensively to grow from this emotional situation. My boyfriend and I are doing great right now. Recently though, his sister has gone back to being very close with this girl. I had to delete his sister from facebook because of all of the pictures of them out. I cannot believe that I am back to the same spot as I was 2 years ago. I want so badly to just move on and not have such hateful and hurtful feelings, but I feel trapped. What should I do? I don’t think I can ask his sister to stop being friends with her…it would cause more problems, no? Please give me some sound advice, as I am desperate. Thanks for taking the time to read this novel too 🙂