(Closed) Affording a child…or why not just live off the government?

posted 9 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
918 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Ick, that makes my skin crawl. First if all, as a person who was conceived to try and save a marriage please tell them it IS NOT a good idea. I have no happy memories of my parents together and the finally divorced when I was 5. I’ve had a complex, so to speak, ever since I was a child because I’ve been a “failure” since day 1 (I was supposed to save my parents marriage but I failed at that). It just isn’t right to bring a child into that situation.

Secondly I completely agree – that’s like when I see people in the grocery store using their welfare cards to either complete crap (my tax dollars should not pay for twinkies) or them buying things I can’t afford (in so glad my hard earned money is buying steak for your family). It makes me livid. The government totally needs to regulate welfare more strictly! It can be so amazing when people are using it AND trying to better themselves but it gets abused far too often!

Post # 4
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Ya, I’d be pretty annoyed with that too!

I have a friend kind of like that too.
She has a child and is expecting another one and lives 100% off the government.

It drives me insane because when I got pregnant at a young age, I was greatful to have social assistance. I used it for what it was for… getting on my feet. I went back to school and got a career. And I wouldnt have been able to do it without welfare/student loans.

But many people dont see it as a stepping stone, they see it as a money grab.

Post # 5
467 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

this bothers me on like 18 different levels – first, the “have a baby to fix things” plan never, ever works out

second, people like them who are milking the system are the ones who have put the rest of the people who need and use the assistance properly in a bad light – and, because of fraud like this, they are further weakening or economy where now you and i have to pay more and save more for the things that they are getting for free

social assistance is a great thing when used properly, but its people like this that give those who really need it a bad name

Post # 6
10285 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

This sort of thing infuriates me. That’s why I WISH mandatory birth control would be required for those collecting government assistance. I realize it’s against human rights and blah blah blah but why is it okay for these irresponsible people to continuously pop out kids that the tax payers have to support? This is one of the problems with our country. Leeches get used to having everything handed to them so they don’t see the point in working to support themselves. If you can’t afford to support yourself, let alone your first child then you certainly can’t afford to support any subsequent children that you so irresponsibly choose to have. Do us all a favor and wrap it up until you get an f’ing job and become a contributing member of society!

One of my best friends started collecting assistance after she had her second child (they were barely supporting the first). She was saying how her second kid hasn’t cost her a dime since they receive full assistance for him so she couldn’t wait to have their third. I love my friend but I’m seriously sick of her and everyone else taking advantage of those of us who actually work to support our own families. 

Post # 7
3519 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

That makes me really mad.  In Richmond, there’s a place that people go to sell their food stamp cards for cash.  $500 for $300… and they don’t get arrested!

Post # 8
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

@caitMarae, I totally agree on the mandatory birth control, human rights issue or not…but I also feel that those on assistance should be regularly drug tested as well.

@tranquility, AMEN sister.  I have health insurance through the dept. of public welfare because I am diabetic.  BUT, I have to be working to get it and I pay a small premium that is dependent on how much I make.  Do I love having it?  Yes.  I never would be able to afford the diabetes supplies and medication without it.  But more importantly, it’s helped me to be able to get the diabetes under such control that I’m not having to take medication all the time.  I’m in  grad school right now, so when I find a job within my field, I’ll be more than happy to not have the insurance anymore.  So I understand what you’re saying and wish more had your attitude.

Post # 9
5147 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I totally agree! Government assistance programs should be a hand-up not a hand-out.

Not to mention people that abuse the system make it worse for people that actually NEED a little help. I think there needs to be an over-haul of welfare, food-stamps, and government assistance programs.

I do like the WIC program because it limits what they can buy to nurishing basic foods. But regular food stamps I saw at least 50% of people using them ABUSING them when I worked at a grocery store in college; buying either all junk food, or buying veal & lobster every week, or using the cash portion of the card to buy several cartons of cigarettes.

Post # 10
578 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I worked for an inner city daycare facility for 6 years and I saw this everyday!  Parents would drop off their children and then go to the beach (and show up past closing smelling of the beach) and say, “oh sorry we got a flat tire!”

It makes me sick to my stomach how people use children as a money ticket. I use to have this little girl in my room and we would have to give her a bath because she smelled so bad every morning. ( I know she didnt bath at home because her feet were always black ) I wish they had better guidelines and rules regarding state help.They have half-ass programs here where you do a “job search” and get the help you need as long as your “looking for a job”.  Pathetic!

Post # 11
764 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Your friend would no longer be my friend. I’d tell her to take a hike.

Post # 12
3525 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010


It’s sad isn’t it?


There are money stores that will gladly let you buy non WIC applicable items and charge it as such.

Sadly, I know many people who abuse the system.

Post # 13
9816 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

That’s sad. My husband got laid off when we were due with our daughter and I was approved for Medicaid right before my due date. I had never had to rely on assistance before and it was very humbling, but I was so grateful to have it. Once he got another job that was that and we opted into company insurance again. 

When he was laid off again and had to file for unemployment, it was our saving grace for about a month. He thankfully found a great job that is looking to be stable, and we cancelled the unemployment when he finally got paid. Again, grateful we had it there when we needed it!

We’ve learned a lot though from these experiences, and it has been a major wakeup! We thought when we got married that we’d have 4 kids and a dog and a white picket fence. Now our agreement is, take care of the one we already have and give her the very best life possible! It was really hard for us to get that assistance because so many people abuse it. And for us (tax paying, law abiding people who have a hard time asking for help) it was frustrating.

Post # 14
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Ugh — Don’t even get me started on this. The Government and Welfare Assistance is a complete joke because of people like that. There are people who sincerely need help and are either TOO PROUD TO TAKE IT or worried about the backlash from someone who knows they’re on it, because people abuse it.
You see the people with the foodstamps and the cash assistance roll up to the stores in mercedes and escalades dressed all nicely and their kids look like they just got out of a dumpster. Then they have a cart full of (un-healthy) groceries to feed their families that they pay for their EBT with — THEN, they have a big cart of beer and liquor and cigarettes behind it that they pull out a wod of hundreds to pay for it with. That’s what I LOVE seeing my hard-earned tax dollars go for!

Just a small side-story, I’ll try to make it as short as possible, but it goes with this. When I was 18 (just graduated HIGH SCHOOL) I was ready to move back to Kentucky to attend college there (from Florida). Since I was not considered an “In-state” resident I would have “out-of-state tuition” which was INSANE. There were proper channels you could take to debate whether you were in or out of state as well as to get government grants or loans to help with schooling. My family isn’t RICH (or I should say wasn’t, my dad — the breadwinner has since lost his job — May of this year), but we had enough to get by and what we wanted, but not for them to support me 700 miles away. I had a job, in a call center no less (but I enjoyed it) working 40-45 hours a week. I worked 2 mall jobs on the weekends. I had fixed rent by living in college apartments with 3 friends I had growing up. I made my car payment (to my parents) and paid for my own cell phone bill, groceries, gas, going out money — etc. I applied and applied and applied for college aid and in-state tuition, but I was still required to use my parents income. (Not gonna get any financial aid with that). The only way I could over-ride it would be to 1.) Get Married 2.) Be active or reserve in the military 3.) Be a ward of the state or 4.) HAVE A CHILD. If I would have had a child I would have had FULL IN-STATE TUITION PAID, free child-care for my kid and received a cash allotment monthly for other supplies. It irked me to no end that because (and this might offend some people, so I’m sorry) I was RESPONSIBLE in HS and didn’t get knocked up that I was suffering by not being able to go to school. Yes, I know I could have stayed in Florida — where I eventually came back to and I’m at now — but I’m still not eligible for loans or grants here either.

I have friends and had friends then that have children and would get all sorts of money from the state, or their financial aid checks and cash them to go on Spring Break! How do you do that? I just don’t get it. I’m sorry I went on a rant on your thread!! This just itches me in a special place and I could go on and on.

Post # 15
10285 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I was behind a woman at the grocery store last year who was paying with food stamps. Her entire cart was full of junk food and BEER. The cashier took her card and she ended up owing additional money. She slid, what I assume to be a debit card, through the machine and it was declined. The cashier explained to her that she’d have to pay with another tender and she freaked out. She was calling the cashier all sorts of names and talking down to her, making references to her being “just a cashier”. Um, the cashier didn’t look a day over 20 and was more than likely just working there part time while in college. This woman, with multiple dirty children in tow, really should have looked in the mirror before throwing out any insults.

Anyways, she didn’t have enough to cover her bill so she turns and looks at ME as if I’m going to feel bad for her and cover the rest of her bill. I couldn’t help but do one of those “are you f’ing kidding me?” laughs. There wasn’t a chance in hell I was giving that chick a dime after the way she handled herself. It’s people like her, and soooo many others, that feel entitled to whatever they want because they abuse the system and get away with it. If this woman would have been buying atleast some healthy food and not have been such a bitch to the cashier then maybe I would have felt bad for her and helped but the way she acted, she can starve for all I care. 

Post # 16
3586 posts
Sugar bee

1. How are they even ABLE to get assistance if they are both able to work?

2. They need to use some of that assistance to get marital counseling and individual counseling.

3. They make it bad for the ppl who really do need help to get it or like Katyelle said, they are ashamed b/c ppl will judge them like these ppl.

4.) HAVE A CHILD. If I would have had a child I would have had FULL IN-STATE TUITION PAID, free child-care for my kid and received a cash allotment monthly for other supplies.



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