(Closed) Afraid ceremony will be short and boring

posted 7 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I had similar goals – non-religious, not too long, no “extra stuff” that didn’t mean anything to us. I spent many hours researching, writing and rewriting our ceremony and vows. In the end I was really happy with it. We put our personalities into the ceremony as well as the vows. We did add one short reading at the last minute, which gave me the opportunity to ask a friend to do something special. But even without that, the ceremony was maybe 10-15 minutes long.

I also added a “group blessing” at the end, and that turned out to be my favorite part. Right after the vow exchange, instead of having the officiant say things like “May you always find comfort in each other,” etc., we had five or six different friends/family members each read a line wishing us something good. It was unexpected, and the people who were asked were really honored.

If you would like a copy, PM me. I’m happy to share, and maybe save you some time!

Post # 4
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@iheartnerds: eh, as long as it’s short it won’t be boring! My friends had a ceremony that couldn’t have been more than 10 minutes. They wrote their vows themselves, and they were really cute. But they didn’t do anything fancy like other ceremonies, and we aren’t either. Believe me, with the processional, and the vows, and everyone just being emotional, it really won’t matter. Put what you want into it and don’t worry! Don’t put random stuff in there just to fluff it out if it’s not you.

Post # 5
Member
6351 posts
Bee Keeper

Do you want me to come with air horns? That’ll liven things up πŸ™‚

I’m sure you’re service with be beautiful. Are you writing your own vows?

Post # 6
Member
2788 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I had the same fears when we were planning the wedding.  I was so worried that our ceremony, what is supposed to be the most important part of the day would….well, suck.  We are interfaith, but it was important to both of us that the ceremony be completely secular.  We worked with our judge for the wording of the ceremony itself, wrote our own vows and did use to readings, we picked ourselves.  It was absolutely beautiful and not lame at all!

If you want more details about the text we used or anything else, feel free to PM me.  Best of luck!

Post # 7
Member
2154 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I don’t think I’ve ever looked back on a wedding ceremony and said, “You know, that was lovely, but I wish it had been 10 minutes longer.” As Arenyth said, a short ceremony guarantees that no one has time to get bored. Just put what is meaningful to you in the ceremony, and leave out everything else. It will be beautiful, it will reflect you, and your guests’ butts won’t fall asleep. Everybody wins!

Post # 8
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@Beluga: I might have agreed with you until I attended my SIL’s wedding! LOL Her actual ceremony was no more than 60 seconds long, and I am not exaggerating. Afterwards, the guests literally looked around at each other with expressions that said, “Is it over? Was that it?” It was weird… 

Still, overall I agree that you shouldn’t make a ceremony longer just to make it longer… say what you want to say and move along to the celebration! Your guests will not complain. πŸ™‚

Post # 9
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I think keeping it short and sweet is always nice. Like you said, guests don’t want to sit through an hour long ceremony.

Post # 11
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I suggest looking for resources online and at the library.  I wrote our ceremony by combining pieces of other people’s ceremonies I liked, various readings, my own writings etc.  Also, a few bees wrote their own.  I think Mrs. Cherry Pie?  Hers is great!  Look at them for inspiration.

Writing my own ceremony was one of the best things I did for my wedding, bar none.

Post # 12
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@iheartnerds: I compiled a ton of ideas from various websites while working on mine; if you send me your email address on a PM, I’ll send it to you.

Post # 13
Member
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

You could have some poems you both like read at the ceremony… Or have a few relatives tell pre-selected anecdotes about your lives together…

Post # 14
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I didn’t realize how short ours was going to be, overall it was prob like 5-6 mins. It was SHORT πŸ™

We also weren’t into the “extra stuff” but we did have a love letter/wine box reading. We didn’t hammer the nails becuase we’re not big fans of the whole “doing an activity” during the ceremony. But we did have a reading about it and explained the meaning.

You will want to have some sort of reading, quote, or something else during your vows, b/c if not then it will be super short.

So it could be anything, quotes from a book, a message from a song, talk about it with your Fiance and see what you come up with πŸ™‚

Post # 16
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@iheartnerds: It can be anyone you like… in the bridal party, or not. I asked a girlfriend who wasn’t in the bridal party and she was touched that I asked.

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