Post # 1
This may be a little bit of a vent. So, I’m on a small budget, but that’s not even the reason for this. Growing up, I thought weddings were held in churches, and receptions were held in fellowship halls. Even after I grew up and went to friends’ and family members’ weddings, those who had church weddings had church receptions.
Needless to say, I’m having a church reception, and now (I’m gonna blame reality TV) people seem to think that’s the weirdest/lamest thing ever. I actually had a good friend ask when he thought I couldn’t hear, “Who has a church reception?” And my bridesmaid told him, “Someone who doesn’t have a lot of money,” trying to hush him. I’ve never been to an open bar wedding, and only one where there was alcohol at all. This is what I wanted. I could have invited fewer people, and had a cocktail dance party at a venue, but honestly, the fiance and I don’t like dancing, and we are perfectly happy having drinks later that night with a few close friends.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a venue reception with drinks and dancing and DJs. It’s just not what I wanted, so why does everyone make it seem like this was an act of desperation, and I’m having to make do, and they’ll have to somehow get through it with no alcohol? I’m happy with what we’re doing, and happier knowing that when it’s over, I’ll be married to my Mr., but it seems like nobody else is.
Note, since I’m sure it will come up: not many guests are coming from out of town.
Post # 3
I’m sorry guests are making you feel bad about your choice. It’s your wedding, not theirs, and they should respect you enough to be happy for you no matter what. We’re having a cash bar and since most weddings I’ve been to have free beer and wine, and sometimes even a full open bar, we’ve gotten some funny looks. If anyone says anything my response is, “if you want free alcohol, you can pay for everyone’s free alcohol.”
That said, I am friends with two separate couples, and both chose to have church receptions with no dancing or alcohol for the same reasons you listed. The only regret I’ve ever heard them mention is that they wish they’d had more of a dance. Maybe you don’t need a DJ, but is it possible to set up a laptop with a few songs so guests have the option to dance? If you’re opposed to it that’s fine, it’s just a thought.
Post # 4
you tell it! keep your eye on the prize and don’t worry what other people think! best of luck! 🙂
Post # 5
I know. It sure seems some people go to weddings for the alcohol. Pathetic I know. You do what you want. If people dont show just becasue theres no alcohol, then you know what they are really like. You dont need those kind of people around anyways.
Post # 6
i would be thrilled to attend a wedding where the couple looked completely in love, family was respected and company was enjoyed. Sounds amazing!
Keep your head up. Weddings are not a NYE party.
Post # 7
@sweetpea87: It’s so nice to see someone else on here that is having a church reception! I’m with you; most of the wedding’s I’ve been to were at a church, and I don’t see anything wrong with that! Fortunately for me, neither of our families drink and the same is true for most of our friends, so I won’t have to deal with people complaining about no bar. Simple church receptions can be just lovely; don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.
Post # 8
- Wedding: June 2012 - Vandiver Inn
Please don’t fret about what some other people may or may not think, lady!! A key thing you mentioned is that you want a church wedding and reception.. that’s the part that truly matters. You do what makes you and the hubs happy, and it will be a kick butt time regardless! Your joy and love will be contagious and people will have no choice but to have fun!
Post # 9
im sorry you have friends that dont have a filter for this type of thing – i will say i have been to over the top loud weddings and quiter slower paced weddings and it is the more relaxed one that i remember more fondly. not saying big and bold is bad but a lot can be said for a less intense party atmosphere
be happy with your plans, at the end of the day you will be in love and married
Post # 10
@sweetpea87: We are doing this too! I have all these worries too. I am so glad it isn’t just me. Everyone else I know has had these big blow out dance parties and we just aren’t. We had a set budget and decide that we wanted the memories from a simple ceremony and reception and a honeymoon we are incredibly excited about. Your wedding will be incredible because it is your wedding and don’t let anyone get you down!
Post # 11
Your wedding will be awesome, don’t listen to the naysayers! Some people just don’t know how to control the word vomit that spews from their mouth lol. Do what YOU want and enjoy it!
Post # 12
Thanks so much for the support! You girls are so sweet. I was tearing up reading all of your responses. 🙂 I’ve just been looking forward to this day for so long, it hurts me to think others could find it disappointing.
Post # 13
Totally fine to do! However, being honest, if I were attending an at-home reception like this, I’d prefer it to be a lunchtime one than a dinner one. I’m not sure why I can explain a dinner seems odd to me, but maybe because all of the church dinners I’ve been at were religious services of a sort (rather than social, albeit this would be a combo) while the lunches were more social occasions.
Post # 14
Hey do yourself a favor and forget about it!! Who cares. As long as you are having the wedding that you had in your mind and you dreamed of that is all that matters!! Your wedding will be awesome 🙂
Post # 15
It is four hours of their lives they can put on the big people pants and grow up and help celebrate you and your special day.
Enjoy and do not worry!!
I have people gripe that since it is a 2 hour daytime reception it is “not worth the effort to get dressed up”
Post # 16
We’re doing a church reception too, but most people we know don’t even drink, so that’s not the issue. My problem is dancing – my mom says she will not come to the reception if we have dancing, so I’m just a bit disappointed that we can’t do that.